Seasons Greetings from Jeff, Star and Maggie!!

Chapter Thirty Four: Plans and Admissions - Part Two

****Star****

The next morning we each had conflicting feelings about leaving our mountain retreat. We enjoyed having time to ourselves, but admitted that we were anxious to get back to Appaloosa to see Maggie. Halfway there, I noticed that Jeff stopped talking and I tried to patiently wait for him to tell me whatever he was trying to work through in his head.

“Maggie stayed at Robert and Regina’s last night.” His statement startled me; not because I was shocked from her staying with them, but from his sudden outburst of the information.

I nodded. “I’m sure she had fun.” I offered, hoping that it would help him reveal the reason for his declaration. The car filled with silence instead and I tried to remain patient as I waited for him to continue, occupying myself by watching the scenery that passed by my window.

“They’re bringing her to Mom’s and should arrive there soon before we do.” He finally continued his thought and I glanced over at him. I knew he still wasn’t thrilled that I wanted to talk to them alone, but by him mentioning that they would be at the ranch when we arrived I also knew that he’d accepted that I wanted to do it.

“Do you think that it would be better to talk to them there, rather than going to their house?” I hadn’t imagined having the conversation at the Hobble Ranch but the idea was more pleasing.

He quickly nodded. “Yes.”

“And you promise to stay out of the room, and not listen from the hallway?” I hinted. His head slowly turned and he studied me for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. The slow slump of his shoulders and sigh signaled that I thwarted his plan and he gave his complete surrender.

“Yes.” He whispered and I reassuringly patted his leg.

An hour later we pulled up to the ranch gate and the sight of Robert and Regina’s car on the other side made my stomach start to do flips. I completely believed that the impending conversation needed to happen, but as the time drew near I couldn’t stop my nerves from wreaking havoc on my stomach. Once Jeff parked the car, he hurried over to my door and the reassuring squeeze he gave my hand as I exited surprised me. I realized then that I must have done something for him to know that I was nervous.

“Look, Maggie! They’re here!” Amanda’s voice interrupted any thoughts that Jeff was about to voice and we turned our attention to the door. She walked out of the house while holding Maggie and the smile she gave us as we walked towards them made my heart feel like it might burst. She squirmed in Amanda’s arms as she tried to turn around and held out her arms towards Jeff as he rushed over to grab her.

“Maggie Pie!” He gushed as he hugged and kissed her. “We missed you!” He said right as I joined him and she immediately looked at me and held her arms out. The completely happy and tender smile that Jeff gave me as he released Maggie into my arms convinced me that my heart would indeed burst from my chest at any moment.

“Did you start walking while we were gone?” I playfully asked once I held her and she giggled at me.

“No, but I swear it won’t be long.” Amanda admitted and I looked up to see that my Mom, Chuck, Robert and Regina had also ventured out of the house. I hoped that as we each greeted each other that there wasn’t any awkwardness on my part, worrying that my nervousness would make them believe that I had an issue with them, and it reaffirmed the reason for the pending conversation.

Amanda ushered everyone back into the house and I almost immediately handed Maggie back to Jeff. I didn’t dare look at him as I did, afraid that his expression would extinguish the small flame of bravery that was left, and instead turned my attention to Robert and Regina. I discreetly asked to talk to them in the living room and as I began to follow them, I glanced one last time at Jeff and Maggie, not knowing what I’d see when I did. His nod and the reassurance I saw in his eyes gave me the boost of confidence I needed to continue into the room and I vaguely noticed Jeff leading his parents away as I sat down on the couch opposite of Robert and Regina.

Chapter Thirty Four: Plans and Admissions - Part One

This chapter is NSFW! Thanks for reading!

****Jeff****

The hilly grounds of ASU eventually transitioned into the mountainous landscape of Mountain Falls and with each passing mile, Star grew more and more anxious to learn where we were going. In all honesty, I had never been to our destination either. When I first mentioned to Mom and Dad that I wanted to propose to Star while the family was at ASU for her graduation, I eventually admitted that it would be nice to take her away for the weekend. Of course they’d known of a great spot and gave me the number of a friend of theirs who owned a home that would be perfect. After several phone calls and emails I decided it would be perfect. But as I slowed down and turned to pull the car up to the gate, I realized that the pictures hadn’t done it justice.

The normal beauty of the house was magnified by the glow that the setting sun cast on it and the shocked gasp I heard from the seat next to me made a slow, satisfied grin appear on my lips. Not being able to keep from giving into my curiosity, I turned my head and watched her blink her eyes in disbelief as she took it all in.

“Here? We’re staying here?” She asked, finding her voice after several moments of stunned silence. “How did you ever find such a place?” Her disbelieving eyes met mine, causing me to chuckle.

“I’ll give you one guess.” I teased her. It didn’t take her long to start nodding and a light laugh escaped from her lips.

“I’m guessing from the surprised expression you’re trying to hide that you’ve never been here, so I’d have to say your Mom and Dad told you about it.” She said matter-of-factly. I nodded my agreement, even though I didn’t need to since she was more than convinced that she was right. A satisfied smile appeared on her lips as she turned her attention back to the house and I reached out the window to enter the gate code. The loud buzz was soon followed by the slow opening of the gates and I let the car ease into the driveway, stopping right in front of the two story windows that lined the front of the house.

I quickly put the car in park and rushed over to the passenger side door. The second she stepped out of it, she turned around and first looked through the massive windows at the inside. Their escaping glow highlighted areas close to the house, tempting her to catch glimpses of the outside, but with each passing minute it became harder and harder to see as the sun continued to disappear.

I moved closer to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. “We’ll have to explore the outside tomorrow.” I whispered in her ear. Her sudden squirming caused me to loosen my grip and she whirled around, placing her hands on my chest as she looked up at me. There was a tenderness in her eyes that I hadn’t expected and I couldn’t ponder about for very long since she once again surprised me, that time with the suddenness of her kiss.

Her soft, warm lips made any other thoughts leave my mind and once the initial shock wore off, I placed my hand on her back and pulled her closer. It wasn’t a very long kiss, or even the most passionate, but it still made me feel lightheaded and made my heart race like all of her kisses did. My mind started to clear again when she pulled her lips away and my wonderment continued as her sweet smile returned.

“Thank you.” She whispered and I held her closer, hugging until a chilly breeze tickled my skin.

Chapter Thirty Three: My Sunshine: Star

- Some possible NSFW pics at beginning.

- I'll have more to say at the end. Hope you enjoy this chapter that's been a long time coming. :)

****Jeff**** 

The sudden shock of feeling small, frozen toes seeking warmth from my legs jolted me out of my dream. We had been holding and caressing each other, whispering loving endearments to one another and on the verge of pleasuring each other, when reality had suddenly pulled me away. I smiled though as I continued to keep my eyes closed and she relentlessly jammed her toes and feet under and in between my calves. Even after two months of waking up to her cold feet seeking warmth from my legs, I still wondered how anyone could have feet the temperature of icebergs.

"How is it that your feet get so cold?" I murmured as I still kept my eyes closed. 

"I don't know; they've always been like that." She said and started wiggling her toes against my legs. I lazily opened my eyes and looked into her amber ones that were already staring at me. I had gazed into those eyes thousands of times, but none of them compared to being the first thing that mine saw every morning. She placed her hands on my chest and they felt just as cold as her feet and I knowingly smiled as pulled her closer; wrapping my arms around her to share my warmth. She tilted her head to smile at me and I took the opportunity to kiss her enticing lips. "Morning." I said and she sighed into my chest as she snuggled even closer. "How is it that you're so warm?" She breathlessly asked in blissful amazement. I felt a tightening from below and closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to stay in bed with her, but we didn't have time for that, not if we were going to be on time.

"We need to get up soon."

"I don't have to go. . ." She hinted and I pulled back to argue with her.

"You've worked for this day for four years, both of our families are here, and even if we tried to stay in this room, someone would pound on the door and probably force us to go." I said matter-of-factly. "We're going." I stroked her cheek and kissed her irresistible lips.

Chapter Thirty Two: My Happiness Lies with You - Part Two

Warning: This chapter is NSFW

****Jeff****

The dull ache I felt in my arm as I started to wake up signaled me that I had been asleep for a while. The exact amount of time alluded me though since there was no way to tell for sure with there being no clock in the tree house; but as I fully woke up the dull ache turned into a shooting pain and I knew that we must have slept there for at least several hours.  I didn’t dare move it though since it would wake her up and I could more than live with the pain if it meant that I got to hold her. I smiled from feeling her naked body against mine and slowly opened my eyes to see her peaceful sleeping face. She had a tiny smile on her irresistible, slightly parted lips and I forced myself to turn my attention away in an effort to resist kissing them; letting her sleep for a while longer.

I averted my attention to the doorway and tried to determine what time it was. A small hint of light had started to make its appearance along the horizon and even though I didn’t know the exact time, I knew that if either of us intended to make it back to our houses before anyone woke up, we needed to get moving. I looked back down at Star and took a moment to take in the sight of her lying next to me before reluctantly deciding to wake her up. Her soft lips called out to me again, and this time I didn’t stop myself from gently placing my lips on hers. Her legs began to move and as I pulled my lips away, her eyes started blinking rapidly as she tried to get them to focus on me.

“Morning.” I breathed against her lips while my hand gently stroked her cheek. She let out a happy sigh as she smiled up at me and started to wiggle her arms out from under the blanket so she could stretch out her lean body. I took the opportunity to move my aching arm and to also admire the parts of her that were now revealed from her out-stretched arms. As my eyes scanned her perfect form, I couldn’t stop my hand from reaching out to touch her soft olive skin, but even though I wanted to run my hands all over her body, I willed myself to rest my hand on the curve of her waist. The second my hand made contact with her skin, her body relaxed and she smiled up at me. 

“Morning.” She whispered and I soon felt what I could have easily mistaken as ice cubes rubbing against my legs.

“Oh my God! Are those your feet?!” I never imagined anyone’s feet getting that cold, but as she continued to try to poke them in between my legs trying to find warmth, I was forced to face the fact that people’s feet could be the same temperature as an iceberg. As her feet continued to seek warmth, I worried that sleeping there had given her a chill. “Are you cold?”

“Only a little. . .you’re very warm.” She again smiled at me and I thought of other ways that I wanted to help warm her up, but there wasn’t time. I sighed my frustration and looked back outside at the taunting, rising sun.

“We should probably get moving. People will be waking up soon. . .” I hinted and she shook her head so hard that waves of hair flung in the air.

“We need to figure out where we want to sleep the rest of the time we’re here.” I hesitated and stared at her for a moment, wondering if I heard her right

“You mean. . .together?” She nodded as a smirk appeared on her lips but I still wasn’t fully convinced. “But, what changed your mind?”

Her smirk disappeared as she continued to look deep into my eyes. “I realized last night, after you walked me back to my house, that the possible moments of uneasiness caused by having that discussion with any of our parents were outweighed by the happiness I feel being with you. And as last night proved, the late night hours might be the only time we have any moments alone. . .” She joked but the serious expression quickly returned. “Unless you don’t want to. . .” She quickly added and I violently shook my head.

“No! I do!” She smiled at the forcefulness of my declaration and as I looked back into her amber eyes I got completely drawn in by them.  The warmth and golden color of them beckoned me to stay and gave me such a comfort when I stared into them that I didn’t want to think of looking away. As her eyes captured mine, my hand reached up to touch the soft, cool skin of her rose colored cheek. She was so beautiful, even just moments after waking up and as my mind grasped the reality of waking up next to her every single day, my breath caught and it didn’t escape her notice. 

“Are you okay?” She rested her hand on my bare chest and even though her hand felt as cold as her feet, it burned into my skin and threatened to distract me from reassuring her that I was okay.

I tried to instead concentrate on her concerned face. “I’m just thankful that I get to wake up next to you. I would have been okay with us sleeping apart, but I would have missed you; more than I would have let you know.”

Her lips spread into a sweet smile that seemed to make her eyes grow even warmer. “I don’t know if that would have lasted more than one night.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Probably not.” I then noticed a ray of light that slowly started to appear on the tree house floor behind her, and as the sunlight continued to threaten our time together, I wanted nothing more than to have the sleeping arrangement conversation with our parents. The sooner we did, the sooner we could be together and we wouldn’t have to worry about being caught sleeping together on uncomfortable wood floors. I turned my attention once again to her and pulled her body closer. “While I’m more than happy to have the discussion about sleeping arrangements with our parents, one thing that would be somewhat uncomfortable is having a discussion about sleeping in the tree house together. . .”

Chapter Thirty Two: My Happiness Lies with You - Part One

Couple notes:

- NSFW (I love being able to put that for a Jeff and Star chapter) :)

- The quote at the beginning of this chapter is the same one that is included under the title picture and sums up Jeff's journey. 

The best feeling in the world is realizing that you’re perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed. - Unknown

****Star****

Eventually everyone started to settle down after learning about Jeff and me. As the questions started to dwindle, I glanced over at Mom and Dad and their genuine smiles reaffirmed what I already knew, they approved. I wanted so much for Jeff to know that, not just from me, but also from each of them and when Dad announced he needed to leave, I mentioned to Jeff that we should walk outside with him.  We talked about plans for the week and other light topics as we approached his car, but that stopped when we reached it and Dad turned around and looked right at Jeff. After several seconds of unbearable silence, Dad slowly smiled at him and nodded as he looked at me. “You both look happy, and I’m glad.” I noticed the subtle clues of the relief that had swept over Jeff; the way his arm and chest muscles slowly relaxed which caused his shoulders to slightly drop, and I quickly looked at his cheeks and saw those muscles relax too. 

We said our goodbyes and as I watched Dad’s car travel down the road, I couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic and peaceful. Even after his car disappeared, I continued to glance around and let the memories associated with the sights, sounds, and smells to bombard me and when a light breeze began to blow, I closed my eyes and tilted my head up so I could feel the warmth of the sun on my face. At that moment, I felt completely relaxed; something that I had yearned for in the past couple of years, but hadn’t experienced very often.

As I heard another breeze start to ripple through the air, I took in a deep breath and another familiar smell caught my attention and the gentle touch of his hand on my arm pulled me out of my thoughts and I glanced back into his eyes, briefly noticing the tenderness in them before their expression quickly became more serious. He slowly moved closer until our bodies nearly touched and I felt the familiar effects of being so close to him, ones that I had tried for so long to deny but had occurred for so long that I couldn’t remember when I first noticed them.  My inability to breath, the rapid beating of my heart, how I felt the heat that radiated from him, and the constant pull that I felt towards him that seemed to originate in my heart and spread through the rest of my body; they all occurred simultaneously and completely overpowered me in such a way that I wondered how I could have ever willed myself to ignore them.

The slow movement of his head as it lowered towards mine made my heart beat even faster and as his lips gently started to touch mine, I closed my eyes and everything else faded away until I was only aware of him and his gentle touch.  I felt his hands rest on my back for a moment before he tenderly pulled my body closer and I wrapped my arms around his waist as our kiss deepened and I got even more lost in it. The return of a breeze seemed to bring both of us back to reality and as we slowly parted, a smile appeared on both our faces and we each let out a happy sigh. 

We stood for several moments holding each other, eventually looking away and as he glanced around, just as I had done after Dad left, I lightly laid my head on his chest and smiled as we both looked out over the two front yards that we had played in as children.

“I miss being here.” His voice broke the silence that had been between us and I lifted my head off of his chest so I could look up at his face.

“At the ranch?”

Liebster Award

Thank you to the wonderful and kind DandyLion author of Not so Ordinary Life for nominating A Ray of Sunshine for this award. I appreciate it so much!

The Liebster Award is a way of bloggers supporting other bloggers. The rules for receiving this award are to:

• Post the award on your blog.
• Thank the blogger who presented the award and link back to their blog.
• Nominate 5-11 bloggers whom you feel deserve this award and have fewer than or equal to 3,000 followers.
• Answer 11 questions posted by the nominator, and ask your nominees 11 questions.

Nominations:  
MsMidnightBlonde for Another Life to Live
MischiefTheKitten for Whispers in the Wind
NightlockFallen for Until My Color Fades Away
Daijah V for Cold Blooded
Lckygrl for Painswater Point


DandyLion's Questions:
1) Where do you get inspiration for your stories?
 From reading other Sims stories and just reading in general. Reading great stories makes me want to improve my writing and inspires me to do better.

2) Do you use the sims as a basis for your stories or do you use it to illustrate the story?

Both. None of my stories would exist without the Sims so it's a basis for my stories but at this point, the game is used more for illustration purposes.

3) Do you ever base your characters off of real people you know?

Yes, Amanda, Carson, and Star are loosely based off of real people.
 

4) Do you plot out your stories from start to finish? or are you a seat of the pants writer? Writing what comes to mind without any plot?

I plot and then plot some more. Lol! I have rough outlines for all of my stories but every once in a while a character will throw me a curve ball and it takes the story to a place that I never imagined. It's happened more than once with Jeff and Star's story.
 

5) What is your favorite character you have ever written?

I love Trev and he's my favorite as far as personality but my favorites to write for are honestly Jeff and Star. Can I pick all three? Lol.
 

6) Which sims game do you like best? 1,2,3 or 4?

In my opinion, nothing comes close to 3. I liked 1 and 2, have tried to like 4, but there's just something that sets 3 apart for me.
 

7) Do you have a favorite town you like to use for your stories?

Appaloosa is a favorite of mine. I like all the trees and nature. 
 

8) Which POV do you prefer to write in?

I personally like to write in first person POV, but I really admire people who write in third. I tried it and was horrible at it.
 

9) Do you write out character profiles? If you do, do you do it before or after you've started writing for that character?

I always write out character profiles, well, at least for all of the main characters. I do the profiles before I start to write their stories. I didn't used to but ever since I started doing character studies, I've found that it helps me know the characters more fully which helps when writing for them.
 

10) Where do you come up with the names you use for your characters?

Since Listening children all have British influenced names and all my other stories are side ones of that, I look at the young adult version of the sim and decide which British name looks like it could belong to them. For side characters, sometimes I use an online name generator.
 

11) Do you have a set schedule to write?

No, I usually write when I'm inspired to and have time. But I do tend to write better earlier in the day.

My Questions:

1. Do any writers inspire you? Blog writers or novel writers?
2. When you have writers block, do you plow through it and keep writing or do you take a step back and take a break?
3. Are there other types of stories you're interested in writing? Some other genre that you'd like to try writing for?
4. Do you do any character development before you start writing for a character or do you figure the character out as you write for them?
5. How much editing do you do for your story? Is it an ongoing process? Do you have many drafts for your chapters?
6. Where is the weirdest place you've ever gotten inspiration for a scene for your story? 
7. If you could live with any one of your characters who would you choose, where would you live, and why?
8. What was the thing that sparked your interest and pushed you to start writing your story?
9. If you write a legacy, which is your favorite generation and why? If you write a story that isn't a legacy, what is your favorite chapter and why?
10. What is your favorite line in your story? Why?
11. What is one thing that has surprised you about your story? Has it taken a different direction than you thought? Have readers reacted different than you imagined?

Chapter Thirty One: It's Our Time

****Jeff****

We had stood at that very same spot hundreds of times in the last twenty one, almost twenty two years. Sometimes we had wondered if we would get in trouble after walking through the front doors; like the time Mom and Dad had told us to stay away from the water troughs and I accidentally fell in. We had stood at that spot with water dripping off of me wondering if we could keep the truth from them, eventually realizing that we couldn’t and had marched in to face the music. Then there had been times we stood there wondering if we could sneak in and grab a snack, usually Mom's cookies, and had developed complex strategic strikes to get said cookies; more likely than not succeeding in our mission. But none of those times had produced the uncertainty, nervousness, and feelings of excitement that the present moment did.
 

"My Mom's going to freak." Star finally broke our silence as she stared at the front door.

"Yup." I kept looking straight ahead at the house and expected a mob of excited family members to converge on us at any moment.

"You're Mom's going to freak."

"Mmmhmm." I agreed.

"My sister is going to flip."

"Definitely."

She turned and looked at me. "Your sister. . ." She started but didn't finish.

". . .I know." I slowly turned to look at her and smiled before placing my hand in hers. We both took a deep breath like we had always done as kids before we faced things together. "It'll be fine. They'll freak out, and then it'll blow over. . ." I said not sounding very convinced. 

She quickly laughed, a sound that especially now filled my heart with joy. "How many times have I heard that before. . .it'll all blow over. I should have started collecting nickels from you every time you did." She teased me and I shrugged while grinning.

"Kind of like you and Hey Jeff, watch this!" She playfully punched my arm and I chuckled. "Truth hurts, huh? How many times did you hurt yourself after you said those words?"

"Hysterical. That's what you are. . .absolutely hysterical." She playfully rolled her eyes and then glanced back at the front door. I watched her face for a moment as different emotions flashed across it.  Her mind had always processed things quickly and she could jump from one thought to the next in blinding speed. Most people missed the subtle changes in her expression and had no idea that her calm exterior hid a flurry of thoughts and reactions; the slight drop of her gaze, the brief flare of her nostrils, or even how her lips barely twitched all provided clues that she felt nervous. I gave her hand a squeeze and she turned to look at me again as I gave her a reassuring smile.  The intense glare in her eyes softened and the smile that appeared first on her lips, quickly traveled across her whole face. Satisfied that she felt less nervous, I squeezed her hand one last time before letting go and reached into the car to get Maggie. 

"I'm surprised no one’s come out to welcome us." I commented as we started walking to towards the door.

"We are early. . ." I nodded and agreed with her possible explanation. Maggie had woken early, and since we had already packed for our trip, we decided to head home a little earlier than planned.

"Still, Mom has always had this uncanny ability to know when we had company; even if we didn’t expect it." We briefly stopped in front of the door and when no one opened it, Star reached for the knob and we walked into the hallway. I quickly turned my head and checked each direction but still saw no sign of anyone. Four adults,  two children and two toddlers lived there, Star's parents should have also been there since Mom had mentioned having both of them over for breakfast. . .the house should have been bustling with activity but it was quiet, too quiet.

Chapter Thirty: Honesty

Like many chapters, this one was partially inspired by a song and of course I'm providing it for you to listen if you'd like. Y'all, thank you for being patient! This chapter and the ones following should have been published months ago but life got in the way. I hope you enjoy finally seeing these two together. :)

 

 


****Star****

As my eyes started to flicker open I saw the white stone and brick of the fireplace, and for a moment it confused me. I tried to think through the sleepy fog and slowly started to put the pieces together; I could see the fireplace, which meant that I had fallen asleep on the couch, but I had no memory of doing that. As I continued to groggily become aware of my surroundings, I started to notice how stiff my arm felt from lying there and as I thought about moving it, I was shocked by the realization that the hand which belonged to that arm was resting on another. . .it was at that moment that I completely woke up. My eyes slowly moved from the fireplace to his hand and I felt a smile slowly creep across my lips as I studied it for a moment.  

My hand seemed to dwarf his and the realization caused me to flash back to the night before and I remembered how those same large hands had gently held mine and had tenderly wiped the tears from my face.  I closed my eyes for a moment and imagined what it would feel like for his massive hands to hold me close and to lovingly caress my body. Until recently I would have tried to stop such a fantasy from entering my head, and if it had, I would have felt such unbelievable guilt and would have beaten myself up about allowing it to enter my mind.  

I would sometimes remind myself that it wasn’t wrong to have those thoughts; when I imagined being so close to him that I could feel every muscle in his body, and as I felt his chest rise and fall from breathing, I became very aware of the closeness of our bodies. I noticed how his curved around mine and how safe I felt, how our bodies seem to fit perfectly together as we lie there, how his arm wrapped protectively around my waist. I may not have remembered what it felt like to fall asleep next to him, but I then knew what it felt like to wake up with him and I didn’t want to spend another night apart. But how did I tell him that? How did I admit to him, the person I had yearned to be with for so long, that the thought of being separated from him even for a minute caused so much pain that it literally made my heart hurt? I still had so many unanswered questions and uncertainties when it came to us that I wondered if such a declaration would push him away, especially if he didn’t feel the same.

I shook my head knowing that those had been some of the same thoughts that had kept me from talking to Jeff about my feelings. I had hoped that if the time ever came that we talked, that the uncertainty and fear would completely disappear. I should have known better; one night of admissions didn’t erase years of uncertainty.  We had made a start, and talked about things that we needed to talk about; but we had barely skimmed the surface. I knew from therapy that my emotions ran deep when it came to what happened between him and me and how I felt about him, and I felt certain that the same held true for Jeff. It would take time to sort through those feelings but I hoped that we could do that, together.

All I had to do was remember our kiss to prove the depth and strength of our emotions. After he had told me he loved me, I had been overwhelmed from actually hearing it and had barreled into him, unable to hold in the feelings that I had felt for so long. After his initial shock, he had responded in the same way and for a brief moment, we had fully connected. Our thoughts, desires, and bodies were in harmony and it felt glorious. As it ended though, the uncertainty had returned and I worried that my reaction had been way off, even though he had responded the same way. It was a constant battle that raged inside me; on one side laid all my dreams and desires that screamed out and wanted to break free, but on the other lay the worry and doubt that always threatened to silence them.

I knew that in order for my worries and doubts to lessen we needed to really talk and be completely honest about our fears and the scars that had formed on our hearts, but I also knew that thinking about doing that scared the crap out of me.

I froze as I suddenly felt his arm that had been resting around my waist move slightly and soon felt his breath on my neck as his face nuzzled into it. "Morning." He whispered and his breath and hairs from his beard caused a tickle to travel from the spot on my neck down my back, and I was surprised to hear a small giggle escape from the sensation. He chuckled and I turned around to look at him and his expression instantly changed from a sleepy smile to his brows coming together and his lips curving down. "What's wrong?" He asked.

I didn’t even have time to tell him good morning before he had sensed that something seemed wrong.  I started to panic, wanting more time to think about how to approach talking about. . .everything. " Why would you think something's wrong?"  I purposely didn’t answer his question and tried to stall for more time.

He smirked and raised an eyebrow at me. "Because even though there are times that I don't know what's going on in your head, I've known you for almost twenty two years and I know that look in your eyes. You're worrying about something."

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

 

To see a special with Jeff and Star, click here to go to Listening to My Heart.

Special - Jeff and Star: It's Our Time - A Photoshoot

This is way overdue. I've wanted to do a photoshoot for Jeff for sooooo long, but who wanted to see pics of him and Rosamund? Anyone? No. . .I didn't think so. I personally cringe thinking about it. Lol! But now, now I think we've reached a point in the story where readers might want to see a photoshoot. And can I say, that if you've hung in for 29 chapters to see these two get together, you deserve this. . .Jeff and Star deserve it too!

The title of this photoshoot is from a future chapter (It's Our Time) and these photos give us a glimpse into where these two are going (without spoiling anything). Having written several more chapters I can honestly say, these two have floored me and I think you'll be happy with where their story is going. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these pictures and glimpses of what's to come.

Thank you so much for reading, commenting, rooting for Jeff, rooting for Star, and sticking around to see this finally happen.

♥Sandybeachgirl♥

(Of course I've provided a song for your listening enjoyment. :) It's from their playlist that I listen to when I write for them).

Jeff and Star: It's Our Time

Chapter Twenty Nine: Because I Love You (aka Shape of My Heart)

When I originally wrote this chapter, I titled it Because I Love You, which I've obviously kept. However, as I was browsing music on Spotify, I came across a song that. . .well, it's like Jeff could have written it himself to Star. So I of course have to provide it.  :)  And for the first time, I'm giving a chapter an "aka" since it's just too perfect. Thanks so much for reading!

****Jeff**** 

As I stood looking around at the downstairs rooms, I realized that I had never known the house to have such a calm feeling. When I had first moved there, it had been with Rosamund and from the start, there had been tension; mostly tension between her and Bridge, but also between her and me. There had been a brief calm after Bridge and Carson had gotten married and moved out, but it was soon replaced with the growing tension between Rosamund and me and then, once Star and Peter had moved in, it had reached an all-time high. There was a constant uneasiness after that between all of us; between Rosamund and Star, Star and Peter, Peter and me, and even Star and me.

Then there had been the tension that had been between Peter, Star and me after Rosamund had tried to shoot Star. None of us had been able, or willing to talk to each other, and we had all become distant.

That was something I never thought would happen, Star and me becoming distant and our inability to talk to each other. We had always known what each other was thinking, even feeling, which could be hard with me since I hadn’t been the kind of person that liked to show how I felt. But Star had always been able to do that and we had always been on the same page. . .until the summer that Mom had Scarlett; that’s when everything changed. 

I had realized while Star sat with my family and me in the hospital, waiting to hear word if Mom was going to be okay, that I had stronger feelings for Star than friendship. People had teased and joked with us long before that about how we were always together and how we should just give in and date. . .but before that, I was able to shrug those comments and jokes off. Once my feelings changed, every time someone joked about us getting together, I started to feel guilty about how I felt about Star. I had been so scared back then about how she would react if I told her how I felt, I decided to push my feelings down and try to ignore them.

I thought it had worked, thought that I could control how I felt, and at one point, had even thought I was lucky that Rosamund had come into my life. Which in some ways I had been, since it gave me Maggie; but between the years of trying to hide my feelings about Star from her and others, and trying to ignore how I felt. . .I had become ashamed of my feelings for her and had made myself believe that telling her how I felt, was wrong.