Chapter Thirty Two: My Happiness Lies with You - Part Two

Warning: This chapter is NSFW

****Jeff****

The dull ache I felt in my arm as I started to wake up signaled me that I had been asleep for a while. The exact amount of time alluded me though since there was no way to tell for sure with there being no clock in the tree house; but as I fully woke up the dull ache turned into a shooting pain and I knew that we must have slept there for at least several hours.  I didn’t dare move it though since it would wake her up and I could more than live with the pain if it meant that I got to hold her. I smiled from feeling her naked body against mine and slowly opened my eyes to see her peaceful sleeping face. She had a tiny smile on her irresistible, slightly parted lips and I forced myself to turn my attention away in an effort to resist kissing them; letting her sleep for a while longer.

I averted my attention to the doorway and tried to determine what time it was. A small hint of light had started to make its appearance along the horizon and even though I didn’t know the exact time, I knew that if either of us intended to make it back to our houses before anyone woke up, we needed to get moving. I looked back down at Star and took a moment to take in the sight of her lying next to me before reluctantly deciding to wake her up. Her soft lips called out to me again, and this time I didn’t stop myself from gently placing my lips on hers. Her legs began to move and as I pulled my lips away, her eyes started blinking rapidly as she tried to get them to focus on me.

“Morning.” I breathed against her lips while my hand gently stroked her cheek. She let out a happy sigh as she smiled up at me and started to wiggle her arms out from under the blanket so she could stretch out her lean body. I took the opportunity to move my aching arm and to also admire the parts of her that were now revealed from her out-stretched arms. As my eyes scanned her perfect form, I couldn’t stop my hand from reaching out to touch her soft olive skin, but even though I wanted to run my hands all over her body, I willed myself to rest my hand on the curve of her waist. The second my hand made contact with her skin, her body relaxed and she smiled up at me. 

“Morning.” She whispered and I soon felt what I could have easily mistaken as ice cubes rubbing against my legs.

“Oh my God! Are those your feet?!” I never imagined anyone’s feet getting that cold, but as she continued to try to poke them in between my legs trying to find warmth, I was forced to face the fact that people’s feet could be the same temperature as an iceberg. As her feet continued to seek warmth, I worried that sleeping there had given her a chill. “Are you cold?”

“Only a little. . .you’re very warm.” She again smiled at me and I thought of other ways that I wanted to help warm her up, but there wasn’t time. I sighed my frustration and looked back outside at the taunting, rising sun.

“We should probably get moving. People will be waking up soon. . .” I hinted and she shook her head so hard that waves of hair flung in the air.

“We need to figure out where we want to sleep the rest of the time we’re here.” I hesitated and stared at her for a moment, wondering if I heard her right

“You mean. . .together?” She nodded as a smirk appeared on her lips but I still wasn’t fully convinced. “But, what changed your mind?”

Her smirk disappeared as she continued to look deep into my eyes. “I realized last night, after you walked me back to my house, that the possible moments of uneasiness caused by having that discussion with any of our parents were outweighed by the happiness I feel being with you. And as last night proved, the late night hours might be the only time we have any moments alone. . .” She joked but the serious expression quickly returned. “Unless you don’t want to. . .” She quickly added and I violently shook my head.

“No! I do!” She smiled at the forcefulness of my declaration and as I looked back into her amber eyes I got completely drawn in by them.  The warmth and golden color of them beckoned me to stay and gave me such a comfort when I stared into them that I didn’t want to think of looking away. As her eyes captured mine, my hand reached up to touch the soft, cool skin of her rose colored cheek. She was so beautiful, even just moments after waking up and as my mind grasped the reality of waking up next to her every single day, my breath caught and it didn’t escape her notice. 

“Are you okay?” She rested her hand on my bare chest and even though her hand felt as cold as her feet, it burned into my skin and threatened to distract me from reassuring her that I was okay.

I tried to instead concentrate on her concerned face. “I’m just thankful that I get to wake up next to you. I would have been okay with us sleeping apart, but I would have missed you; more than I would have let you know.”

Her lips spread into a sweet smile that seemed to make her eyes grow even warmer. “I don’t know if that would have lasted more than one night.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Probably not.” I then noticed a ray of light that slowly started to appear on the tree house floor behind her, and as the sunlight continued to threaten our time together, I wanted nothing more than to have the sleeping arrangement conversation with our parents. The sooner we did, the sooner we could be together and we wouldn’t have to worry about being caught sleeping together on uncomfortable wood floors. I turned my attention once again to her and pulled her body closer. “While I’m more than happy to have the discussion about sleeping arrangements with our parents, one thing that would be somewhat uncomfortable is having a discussion about sleeping in the tree house together. . .”

Her laugh rang through the tree house. “Yes, that would be. . .interesting to try to explain. Although, it would probably make the discussion of us sharing a bed less embarrassing.”

I felt a smile creep across my lips as I nodded and felt even more determined to make sure neither of us got caught. I pulled the blanket off of me so I could stand up and offered my hand to help her, immediately noticing the shocked expression on her face from me standing fully exposed in front of her. Her eyes slowly made their way downward as she openly admired me and when her eyes reached the part of my body that had grown in size from me watching her, a bright red coloring started on her slender neck and traveled up to her face.  Her shock-filled eyes immediately darted away to a spot on the wood floor as she tried to regain her composure; and as she breathed easier and some of the redness faded from her face and neck, she placed her hand in mine, allowing me to help her stand up. 

Her eyes slowly moved across the floor and back up to meet mine and an adorable, shy smile appeared on her lips as she continued to glance at me through her lowered lashes. “It’s only fair that since I admired you that I let you have the opportunity.” I was initially stunned that in her embarrassed, shy state she would offer, and then I realized that she was trying to cover up the fact that she felt that way. I didn’t want her to endure anymore embarrassment by standing there as I intently gazed at her incredible body, but I didn’t want to turn her down in a way that made her believe that I didn’t think that she was anything but beautiful.  

“I already have. . .multiple times.” I whispered as one of my hands rested on her rounded hip and the other on her cheek. “And you’re absolutely beautiful.” She shyly smiled again as her rosy cheeks reddened even more and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her. Like our many other kisses, the one kiss became many and the passion grew with each one. Any thought of hurrying back to either house was forgotten and we instead enjoyed the freedom that came from neither of us wearing any clothes, allowing our hands to touch and caress each other. As my hands moved down to her rear, I gently pulled her closer and her soft perfect skin rubbed against me causing a shiver travel through my body and it seemed to snap her back to reality.

“Maybe we should get dressed.”  She suggested and I took a sharp breath in as I nodded and tried to calm myself. I started to search for our much needed clothes that were scattered around the floor and as we each found them, we smiled as we handed over the ones that belonged to the other. 

We eventually got dressed and made our way down the ladder and we quickly walked hand-in-hand back to her house where we were forced to say goodbye. I watched her enter the back door to her house, and figured she had a decent chance of not running in to her Mom but as I walked back to the gate leading to the ranch, I wasn’t so optimistic about my chances. Too many people woke up early on the ranch.

I quickly climbed back up the tree house ladder to retrieve all of the items I had brought the night before and hurriedly made my way across the wet grass to the front of the house. The back doors were way too close to the kitchen and that was the first place that most people gathered in the mornings, leaving me with the front door as the only option. But as I neared the front porch, I noticed a figure sitting in one of the chairs and I hung my head as I realized that I was going to get caught. Dad had decided to enjoy his cup of coffee while sitting outside and I expected him to say something as I defeatedly walked up the front stairs. Instead he smirked at me from underneath his worn, brown hat and gave me a quick nod before I hurriedly walked to the door. It wasn't until I turned the door knob that he said anything.

"The house would be warmer. . ." He nonchalantly offered as he kept his eyes straight ahead.

I actually felt the blood rush to my face and heard him chuckle as I scurried into the house. I was later extremely grateful to learn that after he made his way back inside, he didn’t share my embarrassment with Charlie, but from the downcast eyes and smirk that Mom gave me when I saw her as I brought Maggie downstairs for breakfast, I knew he had shared it with her.

I placed Maggie in the high chair and gave her some cereal before I poured myself a cup of coffee. I tried to avoid looking in Mom’s direction as I started to drink it, and was relieved when I finally heard the front door open. The eagerness I felt as I waited for Star to appear from around the corner was replaced with embarrassment as she and her mom appeared and I witnessed Ms. Honey repeat the same actions that Mom had moments before. She completely avoided looking at me and she and Mom exchanged knowing smirks as they rushed out of the room.  I sighed as I reached across the counter to grab another cup and poured coffee into it. Star quickly joined me on the other side of the counter and I leaned towards her as she took the hot cup from my hands.

“You got caught?” I whispered in her ear.

She nodded and raised an eyebrow at me. “Did you?”

“Oh yeah.” I thought back to Dad’s teasing words and chuckled.  We made the decision to eat our breakfast in the kitchen with Maggie, hoping to also avoid our mothers, but as Star and I finished eating, they and Dad walked into the room. As I noticed the amused grins on each of their faces, some of the reservations I had about the forthcoming conversation lessened, but there was no escaping from the embarrassment that Star and I both felt. 

As the conversation started, I mentally prepared myself for a lengthy talk, but the three of them thought that we had been embarrassed enough, and it ended soon after it started. It began with Dad reiterating his thoughts that perhaps a warm bed would be a better place to sleep, involved Star and I revealing our desire to sleep in the same room and our parents surprisingly agreeing and offering both houses as an option, and ended with Star and I making the decision to stay at her house since it would be quieter and less hectic.

A sigh of relief escaped from Star after our parents left the kitchen, and I turned to smile at her. “That went better than I thought it would.” She admitted.

I nodded my head as I shrugged. “Maybe us sleeping in the tree house did make the conversation about  sleeping in the same bed easier. . .” I hinted. “Whatever the case, I’m just glad that it’s settled.”

Her lips stretched into a wide smile. “Me too.” She briefly placed her hand on my arm as she continued to smile at me, and I forgot anything that I might have said after. Instead, I watched her as she grabbed our plates to place them in the dishwasher and I smiled as I realized that she had mesmerized me even while doing something as simple as loading dishes.  

When she moved towards the sink to grab a towel to dry her hands, I decided to take advantage of the fact that we were alone, since Mom had taken Maggie with them when they left, and I silently walked up behind her.  As my arms wound their way around her waist, she rested her head against mine and held onto my arms with hers. Her body sunk back into mine and I reveled at how our bodies fit together, with her smaller frame surrounded by my larger one.  The flapping of small wings outside caught my attention and we both turned our heads to look at the butterfly before getting lost in our own thoughts. My mind drifted to the night before and the conversation we had about my career and I realized that in my attempt to reassure her that I wanted nothing more than to be with her, I hadn’t asked her what she had wanted to do. 

I moved my mouth closer to her ear to ask her but was halted by a familiar, interrupting voice. “We didn’t interrupt anything, did we?” I sighed into Star’s ear after hearing Bridge’s question and slowly turned around to see her and Kate standing on the other side of the counter with not so innocent smiles.

“Impeccable timing, as always.” I joked with her as I poured Star and me another cup of coffee. “And it’s probably one reason we decided to stay at her Mom’s place.” I finished my thought and then took a sip.

“I can’t blame you for that. It gets loud and crazy here, and there’s never any privacy.” We all knowingly smiled but Bridge’s turned into a frown as she looked at my hand and then my mug.

“What’s wrong?” I turned the mug around to see if there was a chip or crack but saw nothing.

“Since when do you drink coffee?” It seemed like a simple question, but the answer wasn’t and I didn’t want to share it with her or Kate, especially since Star didn’t know.

“I don’t know, sometime while at ASU. Lots of people start drinking it in college.” I shrugged and took another sip and hoped that she hadn’t seen how uncomfortable her question had made me. She narrowed her eyes at me, letting me know that she wasn’t fooled by my act, but thankfully didn’t press me on it; instead she changed the subject.

“I came over to invite everyone to dinner at our house tonight. Would that be okay with both of you?” She looked at Star and me and we nodded our agreement.

“You drove here to ask us to dinner. . .Why didn’t you just call?” I questioned her.

Her eyes squinted from the huge smile that appeared on her lips. “Because I wanted to spy on you.” She admitted and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“At least you’re honest.” She nodded and mentioned needing to find Mom to ask her a question. She and Kate left and as I turned to Star, I saw the wheels turning in her head as she looked at the mug I had set down on the counter.

“You used to hate coffee. Not dislike, but hate it, so much so that your family who all loves it used to give you a hard time about not drinking it. Now you drink it all the time. . .” As she said each thought, she tried to make the pieces fit together, but as with solving most puzzles, an important piece was needed.

I looked down at my mug and the dark liquid that now half-filled it; the liquid that used to make my stomach hurt when I thought of drinking it. It had been my last resort drink, one that I only forced myself to consume when I needed to warm up and I had no other choice.  With such a hateful past, there shouldn’t have been any reason why I would now drink multiple cups a day. “What changed?” She quietly asked and it forced me to look up from the cup and meet her eyes. I was honestly glad that she hadn’t noticed before then that I had started to drink it, since I wouldn’t have wanted to admit the answer, but it was something that I now needed to tell her.

I took a deep breath and sighed as I thought back to a snowy day when I had decided to grab a cup of coffee, hesitating for a moment longer before I started to reveal the real reason I changed my mind about the warm drink. “Do you remember the winter day at ASU when we ran into each other? It was during our freshman year and we hadn’t talked or seen each other in six months.”

She nodded but continued to look confused. “Of course I do. We literally ran into each other since neither of us paid attention to where we walked.”

I nodded and briefly looked at the mug again before I continued. “I convinced you to grab a cup of coffee and talk.”

She chuckled a little. “Maybe one day I’ll figure out how you so easily convince me to do things.” She joked but when she didn’t see me smile at her lightheartedness, she became concerned. “What is it?” She reached her hand out to lightly touch my forearm and I looked down at it as I continued to think about that day and what it meant to me.

“I suppose we would’ve run into each other at some point; with both of us still being friends with Peter he probably would have found a way to get us in the same place.” I glanced up and saw her nod her head several times. “But as I walked down the sidewalk that day, I made the decision to grab a cup of coffee because it was freezing outside and no place close served hot chocolate. What I thought would be an insignificant moment where I had to endure a drink I hated, ended up being a moment that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.”

The shocked expression I saw on her face showed me that she had started to figure out the missing piece of the puzzle, but I still wanted to tell her, so there would be no doubt about how she and that moment impacted my life. “Instead, I ran into you, who I had pretty much given up hope of being friends with again since I had been the biggest jerk. And when I realized it was you that I ran into, there was a moment when we stood in the falling snow that I knew that if I didn’t find a way to convince you to have that cup of coffee with me, any hopes I had of us being friends again would vanish.”

I moved towards her and looked down at her small, soft hands as I held them in mine. “Something as small as sharing a cup of coffee, gave me a hope that I hadn’t felt for a long time and came at a time when I desperately needed it.” I glanced back up and looked deep into her loving, golden eyes. “Every time since then, when I smell it, drink it, or I hear someone mention it, I think of you and that day when hope came back into my life.”

****Star****

As he looked into my eyes and admitted the last part, my breath caught and I started having trouble seeing his face through my tears.  I repeatedly tried to blink the tears away and when they finally cleared enough to see, I saw his clear, blue eyes looking lovingly at me. I was forced to move my eyes away when my hands suddenly felt cold and looked down to see that his hands had released mine and were moving toward my face. They each gently rested on my cheeks and began to wipe away my tears, and as I looked back into his eyes, I saw the familiar sad smile that appeared on his lips.

I had started to recognize the expression; it appeared on his face whenever we discussed how close we had come to losing each other.  It had been there the night we first revealed our feelings, the next morning when we had woken up and been honest about our fears and struggles, and the previous night when he mentioned that he had missed our moments together. It was an expression that in previous years Jeff would have never allowed anyone to see, not even me; but in three short days I had seen it several times and each time it reminded of how much he had changed in the months since the shooting.

While I pondered his sad smile, he inched closer and continued to look into my eyes. “If that day hadn’t happened. . .” His voice was shaky until his breath caught on the last words and I closed my eyes and swallowed hard as I nodded. 

“I. . .” I started but found my voice shook like his. His hands quickly moved from my face and he pulled me even closer until we were holding each other. As my head rested on his chest, I closed my eyes and like most of the times we’d been in each other’s arms, we clung to each other; almost as if we were both afraid that someone or something would try to part us. But my anxiousness turned into comfort as my ear pressed up against his chest and I listened to the rhythmic pounding of his heartbeat. I experienced the same calming sensation the night before when he held me after we slept together and its steady beat had lulled me to sleep. As I snuggled more into his chest, the beating of his heart seemed to have a healing power that took away the painful memories and instead, helped me remember the amazing ones.

I felt a small smile spread across my lips as I continued to think about the night before and all that happened in the tree house. There were several memories that would always stay with me; our conversation before, our first time making love, but the most powerful one was when he told me that he wanted nothing more than to be with me. As much as I wanted to be with him, I knew that we would have to face obstacles, and even though I didn’t want to admit that I had doubts about us coming away from those obstacles together, I had finally been forced to reveal that fear to him.  When he told me that his happiness lied with me, all the feelings of doubt, the fear of him choosing his career, and the relief I felt from him choosing me all hit me at once and I would never forget that moment or the overpowering emotions that I felt.

Nor would I forget the impact of hearing the reason he started to drink coffee. In the craziness of the last several years and forcing myself to not pay too close attention to him, it had never registered that he had started to drink it. Like many other things, it fell through the cracks and only came to my attention when Bridge mentioned it. And with the realization that I had been his hope during the years he was married to Rosamund, it all of a sudden hit me that just as I had hoped that we would someday, by some miracle end up together, he had done the same.

Our moment alone was once again interrupted by the sound of Bridge and Kate’s voices traveling down the stairs and I let out a frustrated sigh. He gently placed a kiss on my forehead and whispered a promise that we would find a moment alone soon. And as with the other interruptions, I was forced to admit that as happy as I was to be home and to see both of our families again, I longed for the privacy that the ASU house gave us.

We both forced ourselves to go about the rest of the day but every time we happened to look at each other, we both noticed the other’s need to be alone together and shared a frustrated smile. The anticipation to be alone continued through dinner at Bridge and Carson’s and our frustration had reached such a level that even our families could tell that Jeff and I were on edge. When the moment came that Mom suggested that we head home, Jeff and I jumped at the announcement and rushed Mom out the door.

After arriving at my house, we quickly told Mom goodnight, put Maggie to bed, and hurried next door to my room where we both let out a loud sigh of relief as I locked the door. I was sure that our families were entertained by our actions and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I thought back to everything that had happened in the last two days while we were home.  

“If we had wanted to make things easier on ourselves, we would have picked a different time for this all to happen.” Jeff shook his head and let out another chuckle as he turned to look at me. “But we don’t exactly do things the easy way, do we?”

I chuckled at the truth of his statement. “No, no we don’t. But there is one thing we do need to do.” I hinted.

His brows furrowed. “What?”

I got completely serious and continued. “We need to figure out a way to set up some kind of. . .boundaries with our families. I know we’re here to see them, but we need to have more time alone then in the mornings and late at night.”

He vigorously nodded. “I have a feeling that this will always be something that we’ll have to deal with whenever we’re here. We both love our families, but we like our privacy also. . .” He paused as he thought for a moment and then perked up when he had an idea. “Maybe instead of Maggie taking a nap at the ranch we could come back here and that will give us some time alone during the day.” I nodded my agreement until I thought of something else.

“But what about in the future? You said last night that you wanted to return here after the summer. . .how is all of that going to work?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Without knowing what’s going to happen in the next couple of months, there’s no way to know. . .” He stopped mid-sentence and looked at me. “I told you last night what I wanted to do after graduation, but I never got a chance to ask you. I assumed from our conversation yesterday that you also wanted to return to Appaloosa, but if you don’t. . .” He briefly stopped and seemed unsure of himself and my answer. “If moving somewhere else would be better for you, for your career, then we can go somewhere else.” As touched as I was that he worried about my career and what would be better for me, there was only one thing that really mattered to me.

“Jeff. . .” I whispered as I walked up to him and placed my hands on his chest. As his unsure eyes met mine, I allowed a small smile to appear on my lips. “. . .What I want is to be with you, no matter where that is. I can be an interior designer anywhere; here, ASU, or any place else that you decide to go to law school and then later practice law. I’ll be happy no matter where we end up because just like you, my happiness isn’t determined by what I do or where I do it. What makes me happy is being with you and nothing is ever going to change that.”

His breathing stopped and as his piercing blue eyes looked into my mine, I felt my heart stop. “I love you.” He whispered right before his hands moved to my face and his lips claimed mine. As fast as he moved to kiss me, I figured that it would be powerful, but it wasn’t the force that provided the power. When his lips pressed onto mine, there was such a tenderness, such a softness in the way his lips caressed mine that I felt any trace of breath leave my body.

The need for oxygen caused both of us to break apart; our faces so close I could feel his gulping breaths against my face and I felt the overwhelming need to kiss him again. A moment before our lips came together I stopped myself and breathed my reply against his lips. “I love you too.”  As I uttered the last word our lips touched and his strong hands pulled my body completely against his.

Unlike any other time that our bodies pressed together, I didn’t have any feelings of uneasiness or embarrassment from my limited experience, I didn’t feel any guilt about how we got to that moment, I didn’t have any doubts about how he felt about me or I about him, and I didn’t feel any worry or uncertainty about our future together. For the first time since high school, there was no doubt whatsoever about who we were, what we wanted, and where our happiness came from.

As the longer, tenderer kisses became more passionate, I got more lost in him and wanted nothing more than to touch him, and to feel his touch on me. I started to gather the sides of his shirt in my hands and my eyes followed its ascent until it was free from his raised arms. As I let his shirt fall to the floor, I dropped my attention back to his chest and the sight of his toned muscles blew me away. I might have stood there the rest of the night staring at him if he hadn’t placed his hands on my hips; and as if I had been woken up from a spell, time started to move and I once again felt the uncontrollable urge to touch him. 

My hands rested on his chest muscles for a moment and I watched them rise and fall as he took deep breaths. As my eyes and fingertips glided over each crest and valley of his toned chest, I felt the different muscles tighten and when they moved to his abs; he took a sharp breath in. I slowly moved my eyes upward to his face to see that he had closed his eyes while my hands started to explore; but when they halted, his darkened, more intense eyes opened and ignited a burning desire deep inside me. The passion I saw in his eyes pulled me in even more and willed my body to inch closer to his and when I started to tease his neck with my lips and tongue; he let out a low, defeated moan.

His hands moved from my hips to the front of my shirt, slowly undoing each button, and when it was free, I barely heard the sound of it falling to the floor. I felt his hands on my back as they inched upward until they found the clasps of my bra and as he slowly undid each one, I felt myself hold my breath, marveling at his ability to make a task that normally took seconds, last excruciatingly far longer.  

His eyes stared into mine as he dropped my bra to the floor and my heart raced as I wondered when he would pull his eyes from mine and look at my exposed chest. As if reading my mind, his eyes crept down until they reached my breasts and as I thought about him touching my chest the way I touched his, I couldn’t imagine any outcome besides me becoming delirious and my legs turning to jello.

His fingertips lightly grazed the skin between my breasts and when I finally felt his hand gently lay on my breast, I felt an electrifying heat spread across my skin. A small gasp escaped from my lips as his thumb rubbed against my nipple and I felt a shudder move down my spine that made my knees buckle. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and as he pulled me against him, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’ve got you.” He breathed into my ear and I wondered if he knew how much he truly did. 

He carried me closer to the bed and his desire filled eyes looked deep into mine as his hands rested on the waist of my pants. An aching began to burn in-between my legs that only intensified as he first pushed my pants and then my panties down. When he stood up, he started to unbuckle his belt but stopped when I placed my hands on his. He couldn’t hide the shocked look that appeared on his face, and as I gently pushed his hands out of the way, I didn’t know where I found the courage to do so; all I knew was that I wanted to remove his pants, like he had mine. 

I stood up from removing his clothes and softly giggled from the surprise of him swooping me up in his arms and gently placing me on the bed. As his body covered mine, we gazed into each other’s eyes and the love that I saw in his made my heart feel like it might burst from my chest, and for a moment, I wondered if it could. Anything seemed possible when he looked at me that way. Even the love I felt for him seemed to soar higher and made me realize that even though I thought I knew how much I loved him, I really had no idea. It was deeper and more powerful than I could ever have imagined.

His lips spread into a smile as they slowly lowered towards mine; so slowly that the anticipation of feeling his lips was torturous and when his lips finally claimed mine, what started off as a tender kiss soon turned into a more passionate one. Our hands began to explore each other and as I touched different parts of him I discovered that his body was a combination of strong muscles and soft flesh and the sensation of feeling the hard and soft fueled my desire for him. My yearning intensified as his hand glided down my thigh and soon his kisses began to trail down my neck until they reached my breast. I tried to stifle the moan that threatened to escape as his tongue unrelenting teased my nipple and just when I didn’t think I could take anymore, he began to suck on it and my body instinctively arched up to his.  

When his mouth released my breast, I waited for his lips to return to mine, but as he started to plant kisses down my stomach, I jerked my head up and wondered what he was doing. As his kisses traveled further down his eyes locked onto mine and before I could ask, his tongue found the glorious spot between my legs. My head slammed back to the pillow and as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me, I bit down on my lip and my hands clutched the covers on the bed.  My legs soon began to tremble and right when I felt like I was about to lose all control of my senses, I whispered his name and felt my eyes start to roll back.

The motion of his body leaving mine brought me somewhat back to reality and I was vaguely aware of him reaching over to the nightstand and putting on a condom before his body returned to mine. As he began to rub against me, my desperate need for him once again intensified and as each blissful moment passed, I wondered if my pent up desire would ever be freed. The moment I felt him start to enter me, my body tensed up as I remembered the shooting pain I felt the night before, and I turned away from him and shut my eyes; not wanting him to see the pain on my face.

“Star. . .Sweetheart look at me.” As I slowly opened my eyes and turned my head to face him, his tender and loving blue eyes captured mine and I felt my body relax. He started to rub against me again and when I thought I couldn’t stop myself from giving in to the ecstasy I felt, he slowly entered me and I was shocked when it didn’t hurt. As his motions became faster, it felt like my mind lost all control of my body as my legs wrapped around his waist and my hips began to move with him. When the pleasure I felt became too much, I closed my eyes and vaguely heard a moan that was silenced from his lips pressing hard against mine. We moaned into each other’s mouths as our bodies tightened and a euphoric feeling washed over me that continued as we both lay still and tried to catch our breaths. 

As our heart rates and breaths slowed, he pushed his chest off of mine and his lips curved into a loving smile. “I love you.” He admitted as he swept a strand of hair back behind one of my ears. I smiled back up at him. “I love you too.”

He smiled down at me again and as he rolled his back onto the bed, he pulled my body on top of him. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat gradually slow down while I lazily ran my fingertips along his arm. His hand did the same on my back and as I thought about how happy I was, the steady pounding of his heart started to lull me to sleep and my eyelids became too heavy to keep open.

“Star. . .?” When I mumbled an incoherent answer he chuckled. I vaguely felt his arm reach for the light and then return to pull me closer. “I’m going to have to remember to ask you how you fall asleep so quickly.” He whispered into my hair and kissed the top of my head. As his heart continued to pound into my ear, I smiled and snuggled my head even more into his chest and started to dream about waking up with him the next morning, and every morning from then on.