Chapter Twenty Three: A Proposition

So sorry it has been so long since I posted a new chapter! Real life craziness got in the way.

Lots of pictures in this one since there is quite a bit of dialogue.

Thanks so much for being patient and thank you for reading!

 

 ****Star****

As soon as Jeff walked back into the room I turned to walk out of the hospital. I thought that maybe if I acted fast enough I could make it out of the building and not have to talk to him. I had just exited the doors and thought I was home free when I heard his voice behind me. 

“Star, wait.” I really didn’t want to stop. The last thing I wanted to do was to talk to him. We had gone this long without talking so why couldn’t we continue to not talk to each other. “Star, will you please stop and talk to me?” Part of me wanted to keep walking and another part wanted to stop and listen to what he had to say. I would have much rather listened to the part of me that wanted to keep walking but my brain and legs wanted two different things, and even though my brain was telling my legs to keep walking, my legs didn’t want to listen and I found myself stopping just short of my car. The one thing they didn’t seem to want to do was turn around.  So we stood there in silence, not looking at each other for what felt like eons. 

“Star. . .Can you please turn around and look at me?”

“Why?”

He sighed. “Just, please turn around.”

I slowly turned around but I didn’t look at him. “What?”

“What? Star, is there really no way that we could try to get along?”

I looked at him. “Didn’t we just do that?”

“Yes, but. . .I mean without other people around.”

I shrugged. The truth was that I felt horrible about what had happened between Peter and me, because he had been right about how I felt about Jeff. Ever since the day we broke up I had been feeling guilty about everything; about how Peter’s and my relationship ended, how I felt like I unintentionally led him on, how I had been so stupid to not even realize my own feelings towards Jeff,  my married best friend. 

“I’m just, I’m so sorry, Star. I wish things were different, that somehow we all could have avoided this.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Peter.”

He looked stunned. “Umm. . .yeah I do. I said several things on Christmas Eve that was way out of line.”

“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” I admitted and closed my eyes.

“Star, you don’t. . .”

“. . .Have to admit that you were right? Why not. It’s the truth and it’s why I have to move out. I know Rosamund knows. I don’t know how, but she looks at me differently now. Before it was like she was trying to figure out for sure if I had feelings for Jeff, but now, it’s like she knows; and I swear she’s trying to make me feel uncomfortable.  Which, she should since after all, I do have feelings for him.”

“Now that you mention it, I’ve kind of gotten that same impression.” I figured that if we both thought that, then she must somehow know. I just wanted to scream. Every one of our lives was a mess. Jeff’s because he had allowed himself to fall for Rosamund, me because I couldn’t get over my feelings for Jeff, and Peter’s because he had gotten in the middle of this mess, which was my fault. “What is it Star?”

I felt tears start to fall down my cheeks. “I’m just so sorry, Peter. What I’m having to deal with is my fault, because however many years ago I didn’t have the courage to tell Jeff how I felt.  Then I pushed it so far down, I thought it was gone; and that worked for a while but in the process, it caused you to get hurt, which I never wanted to do.”

“I know; and you’re wrong, this is partially my fault too. I pretty much did the same thing you did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I knew how you felt about Jeff, at least I had an idea. I knew for sure in high school but after both of you stopped talking, I thought that maybe, just maybe your feelings toward him have changed. I think I wanted it so badly that I convinced myself that that’s what happened, when in reality, it just wasn’t true. I let myself be blinded. We all have at one point or another. It’s like we’ve all wanted something so badly that we’ve kidded ourselves about how we feel. We’re all guilty of doing it.”

“That really doesn’t make me feel any better. Just makes me feel more stupid.” 

“Well, in a way, we’ve all been stupid. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Maybe this is part of growing up, making big mistakes that we hopefully learn from.”

“Well, if that’s the case, we’ll be some of the smartest old people on the planet.”

He chuckled a little. “That’s for sure.” He walked towards me a little. “Star, if you’re feeling bad about what happened between us, don’t. We never should have happened.”

“Don’t say that, Peter.” I begged him.

****Peter****

I knew if she thought about it, she would see that it was the truth.  If we had both been honest about our feelings from the beginning, we would have never started dating. “I think you know it’s the truth, Star. This whole mess could have been avoided if we had just been honest about how we felt.”

“Well, not all of it.” She said and looked down at the ground. “You and I would have avoided this whole situation, but there would still be. . .the awkwardness between Jeff and me.”

“But does that mean that you have to stop being friends with him?”

“I don’t want to, but how does that work? I can’t just bury these feelings. Believe me, I tried.”

“But he needs you, Star. He needs both of us to be his friend because at some point, things are going to come crashing down. I just don’t see any other scenario.”

“I know, and that’s one reason I’ve stuck by him for so long; but I just don’t think I can do that, at least right now. Can you imagine how horrible I would feel if their marriage ended and Rosamund even hinted that it had something to do with me? I mean, I can’t stand her, and her moral compass is completely out of whack, so imagine her accusing me of doing something like that. And then I would be wondering if she was right because maybe, in some small way, it would be my fault.”

“Star, the only reason that that marriage is going to end is because it started on shaky ground anyway. And let’s not forget what Rosamund is really like. . .”

“I know. Peter, I’m not saying that I’m going to stop being friends with him, but I think right now there needs to be some distance between him and me, at least until I can figure this out and hopefully move past it.” 

I really didn’t know if it was going to be possible for her to move past it. It had been over three years since Jeff and Rosamund had gotten together and to me, it seemed like Star’s feelings were stronger than they had been in high school. I felt incredibly sorry for her. She was really stuck between a rock and a hard place and there didn’t seem to be any solution. Everything she said made perfect sense and I wished I could offer an alternative solution, but I couldn’t think of one. We stood in the kind of silence that happens when both people realize that nothing else can be said; that no matter what suggestion either person had, it wouldn’t change anything.

“I better get going. I’m trying to get some stuff together before going back to school. Plus, I’m trying to get as much time in with Mom before I head back. I told her we’d have dinner together tonight.” She explained.

I nodded. “Yeah, me too. My parent’s act like they’d be happy if I transferred to a closer school and moved back home; which I can’t imagine doing at this point. Are you going back to campus soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll probably head back within the next week or two and then I’ll start looking for a new place to live.”

“I’ll be doing the same. I guess it will probably be just you and me there since I’m guessing Jeff, Rosamund, and the baby won’t be there by that point.”

“Probably.” There was an awkward silence and we both looked around. “Peter?” My attention snapped back to her. “I really am sorry.”

“I know. I am too.” She smiled sadly at me and unlocked her car.

“I guess I’ll see you at the campus house.”

“I’ll see you there.” She got in her car and I watched as she drove away. I walked to my own car and as I drove home I wondered if there was ever going to be a day when all of this was resolved. It didn’t seem like it was possible though; it was going to take something drastic for that to happen and the probability of that happening was incredibly small.

****Jeff****

“Jefferson!” She had called for me three times in less than thirty seconds. I had been downstairs with her parents talking about our return trip to campus when she had called for me. I had just reached the door when she was calling for me for a fourth time.

“What is it?”

“Didn’t you hear me calling for you?” She asked incredibly annoyed.

“Yes, but it takes time to get from downstairs to the bedroom.”

“Couldn’t you have gone faster?”

“It’s not my fault that your parents’ house is so big. What’s wrong, anyway?”

“It’s her feeding time.”

“Okay, why don’t you feed her then.”

“Why bother. We both know what’s going to happen; I’ll try to feed her, she’ll cry like she always does when I try to hold or feed her and then you’ll have to go get a bottle.”

“It’s never going to get better if you don’t try, Rosamund.”

“Don’t lecture me! It’s not my fault that she hates me!”

“She doesn’t hate you. She just probably senses that you’re tense.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s obvious she likes you better.” In the two weeks since Maggie had been born there hadn’t been one time that Rosamund had tried to hold her that she hadn’t cried. No matter what it was, feeding, rocking, holding; Maggie would keep crying. It was only after someone else was holding her that she would stop. I had never seen anything like it.

“That’s not true, Rosamund.” I heard Maggie start to fuss in her crib and I went over to get her out. As I lifted her up I smiled down at her. “Hi little Maggie Pie. How’s my baby girl?” She made a gurgling noise and I smiled even wider.

“See.” Rosamund said.

“Won’t you at least try?”

“It won’t matter; just go get the bottle.” She laid down and rolled in the other direction.

I sighed and carried Maggie as I walked to get a bottle. It had pretty much been this way since we had been discharged from the hospital. Rosamund had immediately complained that she was in pain, went and laid down on the bed, and refused to do anything with Maggie. Instead, she laid in bed sleeping, or laying there doing nothing. I was the one that always fed her, changed her, held her, rocked her. . .it was like Rosamund wanted nothing to do with her. She never once called her by her name. It was always ‘the baby.’ I didn’t know if that had anything to do with that she gave in and we named her Margaret or if it was some other reason. 

I walked downstairs and went to the kitchen where I ran into Regina and Robert. “She still isn’t wanting to feed her?” Regina asked concerned.

I shook my head. “No, I’ve tried to convince her but she just doesn’t have the urge to.”

“Maybe if I tried. . .” Regina offered.

“Maybe; she’s definitely not listening to me.” She walked out of the kitchen and I got a bottle out.

“I can hold her while you get a bottle ready.” Robert suggested. I handed Maggie to him and started to make a bottle.

“I’m really worried about her, Jefferson. She’s never acted like this. It’s almost like she’s depressed.”

I sighed and offered him the bottle. He took it and started feeding Maggie. “I had read before that some women get post-partum depression. I’m starting to wonder if she has it.”

He nodded. “I’ve heard of it but don’t know much about it. Regina didn’t have anything like this with Rosamund. We had tried so long to have a child that by the time we had Rosamund, we were just so thankful to finally have her. Do you think it’s a good idea to go back to campus so soon, especially with her acting this way?”

I had questioned our decision to go back so soon after Maggie’s birth, but it had been the one thing that seemed to break Rosamund out of her depression. “I’ve tried to convince her that maybe staying here for a little longer would be a good idea. I even suggested that she stay here as long as she wanted since she would have the two of you to take care of her and the baby, and that I go back to school. She wouldn’t hear of it. It’s as if she’s convinced herself that going back to campus will make everything better.”

“Maybe it will. Maybe she just needs a change of scenery.”

I wasn’t completely convinced that was the case but I didn’t know what else to do. She acted like she wanted to go back. Since Maggie had been born a week early, I had figured we’d stay in Appaloosa for three weeks and then go back. But Rosamund had been more than adamant that we go back after two weeks, like we had originally planned. 

Regina came back into the kitchen. “She just keeps going on about how Maggie hates her. I do know one thing, the pain medication she’s on can’t be helping her. I’m sure they’re helping with the pain she’s in, but a lot of times those medications make you sleepy and can affect how you feel mentally.”

“The doctor said that she shouldn’t need to use them as much after a week, but she claims that she’s still in a lot of pain. She’s almost run out of them. Maybe once she does she’ll start to feel better.” I suggested.

That night I laid awake thinking about the conversation that Robert, Regina, and I had in the kitchen. Just like them, I was really worried about Rosamund. She had never been the most cheery person, but her lack of enthusiasm was troubling. She acted more upset now than she did after we lost our first baby which made no sense to me, but not much about Rosamund made sense. Her behavior was almost always the opposite of what anyone would expect. 

I heard Rosamund mumble and I turned to look at her. She had started talking in her sleep after she started taking the pain medication. Most of the time it was mumbled nonsense that wasn’t even words. She soon stopped and at some point I feel asleep. 

The next morning we woke up and I finished packing the car. We were leaving after breakfast to head back to school. I entered the house and was surprised to see Rosamund in the kitchen.

“Well, we’re all packed up.” I announced.

“I guess we should go ahead and have breakfast so you three can get on the road. Are you sure you want to go back today? You could always stay longer.” Regina tried to reason with Rosamund.

“No. I just want to get settled back at the campus house. We’ll be alone there and can get into a routine.” Rosamund said.

“Well, you now if you need anything, we’re just a phone call away.” Robert offered. 

“I know, Daddy. We’ll be fine.”

We went into the dining room and ate breakfast. Rosamund was actually somewhat talkative and I wondered if she had been right; maybe going back to campus would help her snap out of her depression. We were just finishing breakfast when I heard Maggie start to fuss through the monitor. I started to get up but Rosamund interrupted me. “I’ll get her.” She walked out of the dining room and Robert, Regina and I looked at each other. 

“Maybe she’s coming out of it.” Regina said.

We sat there waiting for Rosamund to come back down but when I didn’t hear Maggie crying, I wondered what was happening. I stood up to go check but was met in the doorway by Rosamund holding Maggie. “She. . .isn’t crying. . .” Rosamund said shocked.

I smiled. “See, she does like you.” Rosamund looked like she was about to cry. “Do you want me to feed her?”

“No, I’ll get the bottle.”

“Don’t you want to try to feed her?” Regina nudged.

“No, I think at this point she’s only going to drink from a bottle since that’s what she’s used to.” Rosamund said and sounded a little sad.

“Do you want me to hold her while you make the bottle?” I offered. She nodded and I took Maggie from her and followed her into the kitchen. We all watched as Rosamund then fed Maggie a bottle, it was as if a switch had been flipped. Maggie acted like she was perfectly happy that Rosamund was feeding her a bottle. When she was done, I suggested that we change her diaper before we left.

“I’ll do it.”Rosmaund offered.

Once again, we were shocked. “All I can say is thank God she’s acting better.” Robert voiced.

I nodded. “I have to admit that I feel better now about us going back.” They agreed and we walked into the foyer and met Rosamund as she carried Maggie back down the stairs. “Well, I guess we should get going.” Rosamund nodded and we all walked outside. Regina and Robert said goodbye to Maggie and then I put her in her carrier and then the car seat base as Rosamund said goodbye to her parents.

“Remember, if you need anything you can call us, or even Jefferson’s parents.” Regina added quickly.

“I know, Momma.”

“Call us when you get there.” Robert added.

“We will Daddy.”

She hugged both of them and walked to the car.

“Please keep an eye on her, Jefferson.” Regina requested.

“I will.” I promised.

“If anything is wrong, please call us.” Robert said.

I nodded. Regina and I hugged and Robert and I shook hands.

“Your Mom is going to be there tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, she mentioned coming to stay for a couple days to help get us situated.”

“Good, that makes me feel better.” Regina smiled a little.

“Me too.” I admitted.

“Be careful driving.” Robert said. 

“We will. Thank you for letting us stay here while we were back in town.”

“Oh, you don’t have to thank us.” Regina said.

“Jefferson, we need to get going.” Rosamund called from the car.

“We’ll call you when we get there.” I walked over to the car and got in. as we pulled out of the driveway we turned to wave goodbye to them and then made our way pack to ASU.

****Rosamund****

I had never been so happy to see the ASU campus. All I wanted to do was to get inside and get situated. I was about to go insane if I had to stay at Momma and Daddy’s house another minute. Their constant worrying was almost enough to drive me crazy. It was bad enough that I felt like Jefferson was pushing me.

I didn’t understand why he acted like he cared; he didn’t love me so that wasn’t his motivation. I had once again believed that if I did what I thought he wanted, gave him what he said he wanted, that he would change his mind and want to be with me. Once the baby had been born I had realized that I was wrong. All giving him a child did was turn any attention he had towards me, to her. I had thought that once she was born, we would become a family. Once again, I was wrong. He seemed more worried about my well-being but it wasn’t because he loved me. It was more so because I was the mother of his child.

I looked back at the baby as we turned down our street. I could see her face in a mirror that was hanging from the back seat. She was asleep which I was thankful for. I turned back around and thought back to the day she was born. I had never been so mad at Jefferson as I was on that day. He had left me at the house all alone so he could go see his family that he had just seen a week before on his birthday. After he left I laid on the bed getting madder and madder that he had left me there. I finally walked downstairs and found the butler. I ordered him to drive me to the Hobble’s house since I couldn’t drive myself. As I walked in the house, I couldn’t have imagined being any madder at him; that was until I saw him holding a baby and Star standing next to him. Once again, Star was butting in and causing drama. It was hers and Jefferson’s fault that I went into labor. Seeing them together caused my water to break.

While I was pushing the baby out, I became frantic that she didn’t have a name. I thought back to seeing Jefferson and Star looking at one of Bridgette’s babies and I panicked. I knew that if precious Star had had a Hobble baby she would have followed the Hobble tradition and I wasn’t about to live with that hanging over my head. So I gave in. I let Jefferson name the baby. Part of me wanted to believe that he would be so happy about me giving in that between having the baby and getting the name he wanted, he would love me. I was so tired of trying to give him what he wanted and him not giving me anything in return. It was obvious that I couldn’t make him happy, and he sure as hell wasn’t making me happy and I needed to do something to change that.

As we pulled up to the house I noticed that Star and Peter’s cars were there. “What are Star and Peter doing here? I thought you said they were moving out.” I complained.

“They are, they’re probably just packing up their things. Star texted me several days ago and said she was coming back to pack and look for a new place. Peter texted yesterday and said the same thing.”

“You knew they were going to be here and you didn’t tell me?!”

“I didn’t want to bother you about it. You haven’t been very talkative the last couple weeks.” 

“Don’t’ blame me for you not telling me! It’s the same thing over, and over again! You never think about me! It’s always what you want!” I screamed at him as he parked the car. The baby started crying and Jefferson started to complain.

 

“Great! Now Maggie’s upset!”

“Of course you more worried about her than me!” I flung the car door open and then slammed it shut. I stomped up the front stairs and opened the front door. Star and Peter were in the kitchen and I was shocked that they were talking to each other. They looked at me and their eyes got wide.

“Hi Rosamund. . .where’s Jeff and the baby?” Peter asked.

I didn’t say a word. Instead I quickly walked past them and into the bedroom. Why did they have to be here? Why couldn’t Jefferson and I come home to an empty house and not have to deal with Star. I started searching through my purse trying to find the bottle of pain medicine. I took one and laid on the bed hoping that I would soon fall asleep.

****Peter****

Star and I looked at each other after Rosamund ran into the bedroom . “What the hell was that about?” Star wondered.

“I don’t know.” We heard a noise in the doorway and turned to see Jeff carrying the baby inside.  “so if you’re wondering where Rosamund is, she’s in the bedroom.”

“I figured.” He said and stopped in the kitchen. He turned to Star. “Will you hold her while I go get some things out of the car?”

“Sure.” She offered and Jeff handed the baby off to her. 

“Do you want some help?” I offered.

“That would be great.” Jeff admitted. We went outside and grabbed some things out of the car. As we walked back inside I noticed Star walking around the living area with the baby.

“This is the tv. You won’t be interested in that till later, maybe you’ll like watching CNN like your daddy when you get older.” I put the items I had carried into the house down on the floor and looked over at Jeff. He was watching Star and the baby and had a sad smile on his face. 

“It’s too bad you’re moving, she really seems to like you.” Jeff said as he walked over to Star.

“She’s so alert! It’s like she’s trying to take everything in.” She turned to hand Jeff the baby and I noticed her blush when their hands barely touched and once again, I felt sorry for her. 

“Hey Peter, if you unfold that thing that’s laying next to your foot, I can lay her down in it.”

I picked up the thing he was talking about and after some confusion at first as to how to open it, I was finally able to set it up. He placed the baby in the bassinet and looked over at the bedroom door.

“Did she say anything when she came in?”

“No. When she opened the door she looked like she wanted to attack someone but instead she ran into the bedroom.” Star said.

“She hasn’t been herself since Maggie was born. I think she’s got post-partum depression. She seemed to be better today, once we left Appaloosa but that quickly changed when we got here.”

“It’s because of us, isn’t it?” I asked.

“More so that I didn’t tell her that you both were going to be here. I should have told her but she’s been in such a bad mood lately that I didn’t want to make it worse. I chose to wait instead of just telling her. I was basically screwed if I did, and screwed if I didn’t. She probably took a pain pill and is asleep. If that’s the case, she may not come back out till dinner time, if at all.”
 

Before the baby had been born, I wondered if the addition of a baby would bring Jeff and Rosamund closer together. It seemed to have done the opposite though. 

“So, have either of you found a place?” Jeff asked.

“No, we’ve both been looking. We probably would have had more success if we’d started before going home.” I admitted.

“You could always give up and stay. . .” He hinted.

“I don’t think so. From the display that Rosamund just put on, it’s more than obvious that she would flip out if Peter and I stayed here.” She was right. I was sure neither of us would want to stay there with Rosamund.

“Can’t say I blame you.” Jeff said as he looked down at the floor.

“Whenever I do find a place, feel free to come over whenever; you know, to catch a break. . .” I offered.

“I will probably take you up on that offer.” I looked over at Star and she looked uncomfortable again.

“Well, I guess I’ll go pack some more.” She stated.

“I grabbed the packing tape from the table. I think it’s in my room on the desk.” I told her.

“Thanks.” She said and walked up the stairs.

Jeff waited until she was gone to say anything. “So, are the two of you talking again?”

I didn’t know how to answer his question. We kind of were. After the night that Maggie was born we hadn’t talked or seen each other till I had arrived at the house yesterday. We had talked here and there about moving, looking for a place, what our schedules for the fall looked like, but nothing really in depth. We were definitely better, but we weren’t anywhere close to being like we were before we started dating.

“It’s. . .a slow process right now.” I told him. “We’re talking but it’s nothing earth shattering. We talked the night that Maggie was born and I think it helped us get over the first hurdle, but it’s going to probably take a long time before we’re even close to being friends like we were; if that ever happens.”

Jeff nodded. “Well, at least the two of you are talking.”

I nodded in agreement. Jeff went to call Rosamund’s parents and I headed up stairs to pack some more. The rest of the day Star and I continued to pack and in between taking care of the baby, Jeff helped both of us. Around five o’clock my stomach started to growl. 

“I heard that all the way over here.” Star laughed.

I smiled. “I just realized that I didn’t eat lunch.”

“Why don’t we get something to eat?” Jeff suggested.

“I don’t know about you two, but I don’t want to cook anything.” Star admitted.

“Why don’t we order pizza? I’ll go place an order.” They both agreed and we walked downstairs. I went into the kitchen and started dialing the number while Jeff and Star walked into the living area. While I was on hold, Rosamund came out of the bedroom and looked over at Jeff and Star. Jeff was holding Maggie and Star was standing right next to him looking down at her. I felt I should do something, anything to make sure Rosamund didn’t flip out over Star.

****Rosamund****

I woke up and looked at the clock. I had been asleep for five hours and my stomach was growling. I decided to get up and see what there was to eat in the kitchen. I walked out the door and saw Peter on the phone, he wasn’t talking to anyone but was instead looking into the living area.  I turned to see what he was looking at and wasn’t surprised. Once again, there was Jefferson and Star standing next to each other, looking at the baby. Once again, there was Star where I should have been.

I stood there watching them as Peter started talking to someone on the phone. He hurriedly spoke to the person and hung up. I was surprised when he walked over to me. “I just ordered pizza. We were all getting hungry.”

I nodded and noticed that he looked at me and then looked back at Jefferson and Star. I had started feeling bad for Peter after he and Star broke up and I got an idea of why he and Star broke up. He and I were in a very similar situation, we both wanted someone to love us and those people didn’t want to love us back. I looked over at Jefferson and Star. I was so sick of seeing them together, seeing her where I should have been. I was so tired of being unhappy, no one understanding how I felt. But there was one person who understood, and it was Peter. He knew what it was like to watch the person you longed for, look at someone else the way you wished they’d look at you.

I looked back over at Peter. He was good looking, smart, confident. . .something that Jefferson hadn’t been in a long time. He looked back over at me and I smiled at him. “Peter, I’d like to talk to you for a minute. Do you mind?”
 

He looked confused and looked back over at Jefferson and Star. “They won’t care. They haven’t even noticed us standing here watching them.” He again looked at me and hesitantly agreed. He followed me as I walked to the door that led up stairs to the rooftop. Bridgette and Carson used to have people over and they would hangout on the rooftop so it was decorated from when they lived there. We hardly ever went up there, though. We reached the top and walked out the door and I immediately felt a wonderful, light breeze blowing. I walked over towards the front of the house and Peter followed me. We stood there looking out at the other houses for several minutes before he broke our silence.

“What did you want to talk about?” 

I turned and looked at him. “You know, until recently I didn’t realize how much we have in common.”

He looked surprised. “What are you talking about?”

“The fact that we’re both in love with people who are in love with each other.” His eyes got huge.

“So you do know. . .”

“Please, Peter, I’d have to be an idiot not to see it.”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“Oh, I have been. But in the last two weeks I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter what I do, Jefferson is never going to be happy with me. And you know what? I’m not happy with him either.”

“Are you going to divorce him?” He looked concerned.

“What?! No. I still think he and I can be happy but stay married.”

“How is that possible if you both aren’t happy with each other? Why not just divorce?”

“Because I come from a family where divorce is looked down upon; like you’re a failure. Plus, there’s the fact that I still care about Jefferson and no matter what anyone else thinks, I care about our daughter and I don’t want her growing up with parents that aren’t together.”

****Peter****

“Okay, so you want her to grow up in a house where her parents are unhappy but still together. . .?” She was making no sense. 

“You’re not seeing the bigger picture here, Peter. It’s like I said, we can be happy, just not with each other.” She moved closer to me. “I see the way you still look at Star. You still have feelings for her, but it’s obvious that she is much more interested in Jefferson; just like Jefferson is much more interested in her rather than me, even if he doesn’t realize it. Instead of both of us being miserable alone, we could try to help each other out. . .” She was standing inches from me and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

 

“Are you. . .suggesting what I think you are?” I felt my heart start to beat faster and I started silently praying that I was wrong. I knew Jeff had made a mistake marrying her but what she was suggesting went beyond anything that I thought she was capable of.  

She reached out and touched my arm. “I may not be Star, but I could try to help you forget about her. . .”

I quickly backed away from her. “You. . .Are you crazy?! You really think that I would sleep with my best friend’s wife?! And you want to sleep with someone other than your husband?!”

“Oh don’t act so surprised, Peter. Married people sleep around all the time.”

“If you think that’s what makes a marriage work, then you’ve got a twisted sense of what a marriage is and I know for a fact that Jeff won’t put up with that.”

“But he’s not going to find out.” 

“If you think I’m going to not tell him that you propositioned me to sleep with you, you’re smoking something!”

“But you won’t tell him.”

“Like hell I won’t!!” I turned to walk towards the door that led to the stairs.

“You see, Peter, if you tell him, I’ll tell him the real reason that you and Star broke up.” I stopped dead in my tracks and swung around.

I narrowed my eyes and looked at her. “Why would you do that? I mean, why wouldn’t you just go ahead and tell him?”

She shrugged. “I have my reasons. For one, it gives me a way to keep you and Star in line. I think we both know that if the real reason that you and Star broke up came out, that she would be devastated and that would be a terrible thing, wouldn’t it, Peter?”

I clenched my jaw and both of my hands formed fists. “You really are as bad as Star said you were.”

She chuckled. “I’ll leave it up to you; you can tell Jefferson what happened up here and I’ll tell him about Star, or you can forget about what happened up here and we can all pretend that everything is fine and he won’t find out about Star.”

I was conflicted. Jeff needed to know who he was really married to, but if I told him; his, mine, and Star’s friendships would be forever affected. On the other hand, if I didn’t tell Jeff, I would be keeping a secret from him that if he ever found out about, he would never forgive me. I looked over at her and she had a triumphant look on her face. I really wanted to punch it in too.

“So what’s it going to be?” She asked. I needed to buy myself some time.

“I won’t tell him.” I lied to her. I was going to tell him the first chance I got where I knew that no matter what she said, Jeff wouldn’t believe her.

She smiled sweetly. “Glad we have an understanding. I should probably get back down there. I should try to help with the baby, after all. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.” 

I watched as she walked away and then through the door. I shuddered thinking about what had just happened. I had to figure out a way to tell Jeff about it but I also wanted to protect Star. I just hoped that Rosamund would slip up and it would be soon.