After Rosamund woke up I took her home and told her I’d call
her later in the day. I needed time to
think and I couldn’t do that with her around. I drove back home and had just
got out of my car when I heard Star behind me.
“Did you sleep in your tux?” She asked me in a humored tone.
My heart stopped. I knew what was about to happen and I
wanted so badly to go back in time and change everything that had happened
after I left Star’s last night. I had left her place feeling hopeful about the
future. What happened afterwards turned everything upside down and I felt like
such a jerk about almost kissing Star one minute and then sleeping with
Rosamund the next. But what was just as
heartbreaking was I was about to tell her something that might forever change
how Star saw me and I didn’t know if I could deal with that on top of
everything else.
I turned around and looked at her.
“You look like crap, Jeff. What have you been doing? Did you
even go to sleep.”
“No, yes. . .barely.”
“Jeff, something’s wrong. I can tell. It’s because we almost
kissed last night, isn’t it?”
It felt like someone squeezed my heart even tighter. “No. .
.Yes. God, Star I don’t even know how to tell you this.” I looked at her and
she looked so hopeful and hurt at the same time. “I’m the biggest jerk in the
world and I probably just ruined my life.”
“By almost kissing me?!” She fumed.
“No! God no! It’s what happened after that that’s going to
make you hate me forever.”
“Jeff, you’re acting pretty dramatic and we both know that’s
not like you. Why don’t you tell me what happened and let me be the judge of
whether I’m going to hate you forever. Not that I think you could do anything
that would.”
I let out a big sigh and looked down at the ground, being
too big a coward to look her in the eyes. “After I left your place last night,
I came home and Rosamund was standing outside my house crying. Her prom date
dumped her at prom and I felt bad for her. I let her in the gate and we went up
to the barn apartment to talk. She kept crying and I kept trying to tell myself
to get away from her, to take her home.
I don’t know how, I don’t know exactly why but before I knew it, we
slept together.” As I uttered the last words I looked up at her.
She looked angry. I had never seen Star this angry; but what
bothered me more were the tears that she was trying so hard to keep from
falling from her eyes. She stood there for several minutes looking at me like
that before she spoke. “I. . .I don’t
even know what to say to you right now Jefferson Hobble.” She put her hands in
her pockets and turned away from me. She took some steps away from me before
quickly turning back around. “You’re
right, you are a jerk. How could you
lead one girl on and then the same night sleep with another? YOU! JEFFERSON
FRIGGIN’ HOBBLE! Who never does anything wrong! Who’s always trying to protect
his image and his reputation! Is that what you meant by your life might be
ruined? Poor Jefferson’s political career might be over!”
“I know. I’m sorry Star. I honestly hadn’t thought about my
future career.”
“Then what could have been ruined?” She asked with a hateful
look.
“I slept with her, Star. . .”
“Yes, you made that perfectly clear, Jefferson. . .Oh . .
.my . . .God. Don’t tell me on top of
everything you were stupid enough to sleep with her without using protection!?”
As she said the words I closed my eyes and wished that I was
having a nightmare. How could this be my life. I finally opened my eyes and
looked at her. Her eyes were pleading me to correct her. “I was that
stupid.” I felt like I was about to get
sick. I was so sickened by myself and what I had just done. Before I could
entertain any thoughts of getting sick Star was talking to me again.
“Jefferson Allen Hobble, I never thought I would see the day
that I would see you do anything stupid, but you’ve proven me wrong. I am so
angry at you right now I can’t even think straight! After last night, I thought
that you might have had feelings for me, but that wouldn’t be possible if you
immediately went and slept with someone else! And not only was it someone else,
it was her; who I’ve warned you about all year long! I was wrong, you have
done something that could make me hate you forever!” She finished yelling at me
and ran out the gate back to her house.
It was over. I knew that my friendship with Star had just
ended. I didn’t deserve her friendship or anyone else’s for that matter. How
could I even think of being anyone’s friend when I was the biggest jerk in the
world. I walked into the house and I ran
into my room. I flung myself on my bed
and cried. When no more tears would fall I sat up on my bed and started
praying; “Please God, don’t let her be pregnant.”
The next month passed by and it was graduation day. Ever since the day after prom, Star had
stopped coming over to our house and had stopped talking to me and Peter. She
hung out more with her friends that she had cheered with a couple of years
before. Peter asked me if I knew what
was up with her and all I could muster to tell him was that she and I had big
argument and I didn’t think it was something that she would ever forgive me
for. I wasn’t surprised by the fact that Star kept everything to herself. She
never told anyone about what happened.
I was as confused as ever about my feelings for Rosamund.
She assured me that she didn’t think it was possible to get pregnant the first
time, or at least it was very rare, so we probably had nothing to worry about.
She seemed unaffected by it which made me feel a little more optimistic.
As the graduation ceremony unfolded, I watched as Rosamund,
Peter, and Star walked across the stage to get their diplomas. I had never thought I would be this sad at
graduation. Not because I was leaving high school, but just because how things
seemed to end between me and Star. I was constantly reminded about what I had
done a month ago. Every time I looked out my window and saw her house, saw her
at school with her friends, ate breakfast and she wasn’t there, it all reminded
me of what I had done and the friendship I had lost because I was such a jerk.
The ceremony ended and I walked outside with my family.
“Congratulations Jeff!” Mom said while hugging me.
“So proud of you son!” Dad told me.
“Way to go Mr. Cool!” Charlie said.
I tried my best to be grateful and upbeat but underneath it
all I was miserable.
“Well, let’s get back to the house so we can celebrate with
Star and her family.”
“Wait, WHAT!?” I asked.
“Honey and I have been planning this for months and wanted to
surprise you and Star on graduation day. We’re having a little party at our
house to celebrate. We’ve invited all your friends too!”
I was afraid ask who these friends were. “Just who did you
invite, Mom?”
“Oh just Peter, Rosamund, and Star. We figured you wouldn’t
want a huge fuss.”
I could have sworn that for a few seconds that everything
around me started spinning. Mom and Ms.
Honey had no idea what they had done.
We arrived back at the house and soon Rosamund and Peter
were there. After talking for a few minutes
we heard Star and her family arrive. Star walked into the family room and we
all stood there looking at each other.
It seemed stupid to stand there not saying anything so I tried to start
a conversation.
“I’m sorry Star, if I had known that our moms were planning
this, I would have found some way to discourage them.”
“It’s fine” she said flatly. “Let’s just try to get through
this and hope it’s over soon.”
We pretended to all get along for the rest of the party. If
our parents had been paying closer attention they would have noticed the
tension; but they were so excited about us graduating that they didn’t
notice. As night fell, people started to
leave and soon only Rosamund was left at our house.
“Do you want a ride home?” I offered.
“Sure. That can give us some time to talk.”
I walked into the kitchen where I found Mom and Dad and told
them I was taking Rosamund home. I met
up with her in the hallway and we walked out to my car. As I pulled out of the
driveway Rosamund started talking.
“Jefferson, there’s something I need to tell you.” She said
in a quiet voice
“Go ahead.”
She sat there with her hands in her lap and was looking down
at them. “I was supposed to get my period a week ago. I didn’t think much of
it, hoping it was stress, but this morning I finally broke down and took a
pregnancy test.” She paused and I was thankful that I had pulled up to a stop
light so I could turn and look at her. “It was positive.”
I couldn’t breathe, a huge weight fell on my chest and I
could have sworn my heart stopped beating.
I heard a car honk behind me and I looked up to see that the light had
turned green.
I got to the street where I should have turned to go toward
Rosamund’s house but instead I went straight and turned down a different
street.
“Where are we going?”
“We need to go somewhere to talk about this besides the car
or your house.” As I pulled down the dirt road I kept thinking how I must have
heard her wrong. I was going to get to the end of the road and she was going to
tell me that I heard her wrong; but as we neared the waterfall, my confidence
in my denial started to falter.
We got to the water fall and we both got out of the car. We
walked over to a spot near the water and I stood there staring at the
waterfall. “Jefferson, you did hear me, didn’t you.”
I closed my eyes and wanted to say no but I knew I had “Yes,
I’m thinking.”
“Would you mind telling me what you’re thinking?” She asked
in a hushed voice.
“You’re sure? You’re absolutely sure?” I asked her while
turning to look at her.
“Yes. I took three tests.” She said with tears in her eyes.
I walked over to her and hugged her. She started crying harder and I held her
tighter. Here I was, on the verge of being eighteen years old and I was going
to be a father. It seemed like a horrible joke. How in the world could I be a
father, I wasn’t even old enough to vote, get married, drink and I was supposed
to be responsible for another human being?
She stopped crying and looked up at me. “What are you
thinking about, Jefferson?”
“I’m thinking about what to do.”
“You mean whether I should get rid of it.”
“Good God no, Rosamund! I would never think about that. I
mean if your health was in danger than maybe. . .”
“Okay, what about adoption? I could give the baby up for
adoption?” She suggested.
I sighed “I guess that might be an option.” I started
pacing. I rubbed my forehead as if rubbing it would magically give me the
answers I was looking for. It wasn’t helping “What do you think?” I asked her.
She looked up at the sky, sighed and closed her eyes. “I
know I’m young. I know that neither of us planned for this to happen. I know
that our parents are going to want to kill us when they find out. But I also
know that once my parents find out, they won’t want me to put the baby up for
adoption. They’ll offer to support me and the baby. I don’t expect anything
from you Jefferson. I can take care of the baby with my parents help. You
don’t. . .”
“Have to be a part of his or her life? Rosamund, you know me
well enough to know that isn’t going to happen.” She got a relieved look on her
face.
“So when do we tell our parents?” She asked.
“Let’s let this sit for a couple of days. We’ll talk more
about it and figure out what we’re going to do and we’ll let them be happy
about the graduation for a little bit. Then we’ll approach them together.
Okay?”
She walked over and grabbed my hand “Okay.”
We walked back over to the car and I drove her home. At her
house I walked her to her door, hugged her and told her I’d call her later that
night.
I drove home but had no memory of driving. Everything I did
felt like I was in someone else’s body looking out. When I got home Mom and Dad
came out from the family room and asked if I had a good time at the party. I
mumbled something about it being fun and thanked them. They seemed concerned so
I told them I had a headache and wanted to lie down. That thankfully gave me
the excuse to escape. I walked upstairs and went to my room.
I sat down on my bed and tried to absorb what Rosamund and I
had just talked about. She had mentioned how her parents would support her and
I knew she was right, they would. I also knew that my parents would support me
too. They all may be really mad at what we had done but they would never allow
us to give up the baby, even if it meant that our parents raised him or
her. The last thing I wanted to do was
to have my parents be responsible for something I did. I knew I was only 17
years old, but I also knew that this was a time that I needed to take
responsibility for my own actions.
I called Rosamund and asked her if she wanted to talk
tomorrow morning. She agreed and I tried to get some sleep. I may have gotten
two hours of sleep that night. I laid in my bed most of the night thinking
about Rosamund and how our son or daughter was growing inside her.
The sun started to rise and I got out of bed to take a quick
shower. Rosamund and I had agreed to talk early in the morning. I got dressed and headed downstairs.
“You’re up early!” Mom exclaimed.
“I’m meeting Rosamund this morning.”
“Oh? Are you two back together again?” She asked with a
smile.
“Something like that, Mom. I’ll see you later.”
“Okay! Have a good time!”
I drove to Rosamund’s house and before I could even get out
of the car she was walking out her front door. She got in the car “I didn’t
want to take the chance of seeing Mom and Dad so I ran out the door.” I
couldn’t think of any other private spot to talk so I drove back to the
waterfall. We rode in silence the whole
way and continued our silence for several minutes as we watched the falls,
while holding hands.
I finally broke the silence and turned towards her. “I did a
lot of thinking last night. You said yesterday that you’re sure that your
parents will support you. I don’t doubt that. I also believe that mine would do
the same.” She nodded in agreement. “There’s only one problem with that. This
was something we did and I know my parents, in their effort to help, they will
probably end up partially raising our child. Yours will probably do the same.”
She nodded again. “I don’t want that.” She looked confused. “If we’re going to
raise this baby, then WE need to raise him or her. The only way that is going to happen is if we
convince our parents that we can.”
“How do we do that?”
“There was only one thing that I could think of. . .we take
full responsibility and get married.”
Her jaw hit the ground. “Wha. . .But Jefferson, we aren’t
even dating anymore.”
“We may not be dating but obviously I’m crazy about you or
we wouldn’t be in this situation.” She blushed. “I have never felt for anyone
the way I feel about you. Even after we broke up I was miserable and missed
you. Maybe this was supposed to happen.”
“Are you. . .are you proposing?” She looked skeptic.
“I, guess I am.” I got down on one knee and held her hand.
“Rosamund Regina Carter, will you marry me?”
She pulled me to my feet and looked up at me. “Yes!” she
shouted. Before I could respond she kissed me.
I tried to talk between kisses. “Ros. . .a. . .mund. . .we. . .have. .
.to. . .talk. . .about. . .our. . . parents.”
She pulled away. “Oh! I guess you’re right. What are we
going to tell them.”
“I’m starting to wonder if telling the four of them together
would be the best. That way we don’t have to repeat everything to each set.
Even though they’ll eventually be supportive, I know they’re going to be mad at
us and they’ll probably try to talk us out of getting married, but if we put up
a united front, they’ll give in.”
“I think you’re right. What are we going to tell them?” We
stood there talking about how we were going to approach our parents and what we
were going to do. We decided that we would sit them down at my parent’s house
the next weekend and tell them. Part of
me was excited and part of me was dreading what my parents were going to do and
say.
During the next week I convinced my parents to invite Rosamund’s parents over for dinner. It was all set, we were eating dinner on Saturday evening and after dinner Rosamund and I would tell our parents our situation and plan.
Rosamund and I saw each other every day in between. We mostly went to the falls to talk so no one could over hear what we were talking about. Our situation was causing us to grow closer and by Friday night we were convinced that we were doing the right thing.
It was five minutes till 4:00 and Rosamund and her parents were supposed to arrive soon. I started pacing in the family room and was deep in thought when Dad interrupted me. “Son, what in the world. I’ve never seen you pace like this before. You must really like this girl.” He smiled and joked.
I stopped pacing and tried to gain my composure. Right at 4:00 the doorbell rang and Mom, Dad and I answered the door. Our parents exchanged introductions and Rosamund and I held hands while watching them.
Mom suggested we go into the dining room and start dinner. The conversation was pleasant and ranged in topic to Mom’s career to college for Rosamund and I. I gave Rosamund’s hand a squeeze under the table when our future came up.
Mom and Regina bonded over cooking and were discussing recipes when we all walked into the living room. This was the moment Rosamund and I had been waiting for.
Mom suggested we go into the dining room and start dinner. The conversation was pleasant and ranged in topic to Mom’s career to college for Rosamund and I. I gave Rosamund’s hand a squeeze under the table when our future came up.
Mom and Regina bonded over cooking and were discussing recipes when we all walked into the living room. This was the moment Rosamund and I had been waiting for.
“Mom and Dad, Regina and Robert; Rosamund and I have something we’d like talk about with you.” I motioned for them to sit on the couches and Rosamund and I stood in the front of the room. I looked over at her and she grabbed my hand.
“What I’m about to say is going to shock you and upset you so I’m not going to beat around the bush. Rosamund is pregnant and I am the father.” I looked around at all of them and their smiles slowly turned to looks of disbelief.
“Yes, Rosamund is pregnant and I’m the father.”
I looked over at Rosamund’s parents and I could tell her dad was about to lose it. “This can’t be. He obviously forced himself on her. There’s no way my daughter. . .” Robert exclaimed
“What do you mean our son must have forced himself on her. Obviously she led him on. . .” Dad defended.
“We both did!” Rosamund shouted. Our parents looked at us with their mouths hanging open. “Neither one of us took advantage of the other and we both consented to it so stop accusing and please listen to us”
Our parents looked at both of us and then at each other.
“Is this why you asked us to invite Rosamund and her family over for dinner, so you could tell us that Rosamund is pregnant?” Mom inquired.
“Yes. We thought it was better to tell all of you at once.”
“I just don’t get it Jeff. How?! Of all people you?! I would think you would know better, especially after what happened with Charlie and Kate.” Dad pleaded.
“Oh, so this has happened before in your family, has it?” Regina accused.
“Different circumstances, they were engaged before she got pregnant. But we’re not talking about them, we’re talking about Jeff and Rosamund.” Mom looked at Dad to let him know to stay away from the Charlie and Kate situation.
“Good God people! Can you please stop accusing each other and us and listen to what we have to say.” I pleaded.
I took a deep breath and unloaded everything. “Rosamund and I have been talking for a little while now about our situation. . .”
“Situation.” Robert huffed again.
“As I was saying, we’ve been discussing and I think you’ll all be relieved to know that Rosamund and I both agree that it wouldn’t be right to abolish the pregnancy.” They all let out a sigh of relief. “We also are very much aware that this child is our responsibility. We know you’re very angry with us right now and probably will be for a long time. We also realize that as our parents, who are very supportive, even when we do some not so smart things, that you will not turn your backs on us and will do anything to support us.” They all nodded. “While we would appreciate your support, we also want to take responsibility for our own actions. Therefore, we have decided that we are going to get married and keep the baby and raise it on our own.”
Immediately there was an uproar.
Rosamund and I expected them to react this way and we stood there for several minutes listening to them protest. When they started to calm down I continued.
“Are you finished, because I’ll stand here and wait till you are before we continue.” Our parents were floored. They quietly sat down and this time Rosamund spoke up.
“I know you are upset with us, and you have every right to be. But can you please listen to us and hear us out?” She begged. There was silence and Rosamund continued. “Did we plan this? No. Did we do something that you should be upset about? I suppose, although I wonder if any of you did the same thing when you were teenagers and just didn’t have this happen. Is the outcome unfortunate? I don’t think so and neither does Jefferson.” Her father started to protest and she held up her hand. “No Daddy, I’m not finished. I know I’m just eighteen and Jefferson is a month from turning eighteen, but we’ve thought about this and have talked a lot about it. You can voice your objections to us getting married, but once Jefferson turns eighteen, we don’t have to have your permission. What we’d like to have is your blessing.” Our parents looked at us and then each other. There was a scary quiet in the room. All of a sudden they jumped up off the couches.
“Jefferson Allen Hobble you get your butt upstairs! You are grounded!” I kind of chuckled at Mom’s reaction. I couldn’t help it. I got a girl pregnant and was almost eighteen years old and she was sending me to my room.
“Rosamund Regina Carter, get to the car NOW!” Her mom commanded. Rosamund and I looked at each other and I squeezed her hand. “I’ll call you later.” I whispered to her.
All the way upstairs I listened to Mom and Dad yelling at me and I could hear Rosamund’s parents yelling at her the whole way to their car. I went to my room and shut and locked the door. I stood at the window and watched as Rosamund and her parents drove away. I noticed a person walking on the sidewalk and recognized that it was Star. She was looking at me and then I saw her reach in her pocket and get her phone out. A few seconds later my cell was ringing.
“Hey” She said.
“Hey”
“Look Jeff I’m still really angry over what happened but Mom wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Why?”
“Why am I still mad?”
“No, I get why you’re mad Star and you should be. Why did your mom want to make sure everything was okay?”
“Because we could hear yelling all the way at my house. Was that your parents? And was that Rosamund and her parents that I just saw leaving?”
“What in the world could make them yell like that?”
She stood there looking up at me not saying anything. “Star, either say something or hang up.”
“Is she sure?”
“She took three tests.”
“Were you standing there when she took them?” What kind of a question was she asking? What did it matter if I was there or not.
“Did you actually see a positive test result?”
“No.”
“Then how can you be sure?”
“Really?! We’re going to have this discussion again? I’m tired of having this conversation with you Star.”
“Well, that and the fact that Rosamund and I are going to get married.”
“What the. . .Are you really that stupid?! What is going through your mind?! Marry her?! You’re not even eighteen yet! Jeff, I know we haven’t seen eye to eye about anything having to do with Rosamund, but what I’m saying to you now I say as your friend, please, I’m begging you, do not marry her. You don’t have to Jeff! You can still have a baby with her and not marry her. Please!”
I stood there looking at her and didn’t respond for several minutes. “Star, you know me well enough to know that I can’t do that. I need to do the right thing, the honorable thing and make this right. I care about Rosamund very much and in the future I would appreciate if you’re going to talk to me you wouldn’t voice your displeasure about my future wife.”
“Goodbye Star.” I hung up and walked away from the window. I had planned for my parents’ response but I hadn’t even thought about what Star’s response would be. I laid on my bed and realized that it was just me and Rosamund now. We were in this together and we would help each other get through this.
Credits:
Poses:
Cloudwalker Sims' - Family Photos Poses
Dream Angel's - Lifestyle
Spladroum's - Hole Me Couple's Poses
IMHO's - Don't Be Sad Baby
Mypalsim's - Argue Pose Pack
Zhippidy's - Adult Anger Fight
Eternila - Demento 2
IMHO Don't Be Sad
First off... O_O when I saw YA Jeff. *faints*
ReplyDelete*grumbles* "neither of us planned this" Bullshit Rosamund, you did. *glares at Rosamund*
Ok, well, despite the "problem," Jeff seems to be thinking logically and taking action instead of shutting down, which is healthy, even though it's not what he wanted originally, so I'm happy about that. Story wise, LOL, it's probably better this little drama came about because now I'm curious what Jeff's life will be like.
I was sooooo happy when he aged up to YA!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Once again there's a hint of truth in what she said to him. She's very good at twisting the truth and words to make what she says true. : )
Jeff's life is about to get really interesting. He has no idea what he's in for (which I kind of feel bad. . .kind of). LOL!
Ok, slowly getting caught up. However, I already know things and I'm SO mad. Stupid Rosamund! Good job writing her and making her seem somewhat likable at first. :) I honestly reacted like Star. I didn't like her, but I could not find ANYTHING to say why. She seemed nice enough. She was smart and even backed off the whole trying to sleep with him at first. However, I almost wish you could have written from her point of view because we would have probably saw something like, "I knew if I didn't follow his lead, then I would lose him. So, for now, I let him think I thought being careful was a good idea, too." Or something like that....lol....
ReplyDeleteI'm very slowly revealing things about Rosamund. She's really good at keeping things from people and she's still not completely revealed to the reader, and she won't be for a while because she's one messed up girl. I could tell you how messed up, but that would ruin the story, =D
DeleteOh yay! That's how I was trying to write her. Kind of likable but something didn't seem quite right.
What you wrote for her, is pretty close to what she was thinking. :) Sometimes I don't like to let you all in her head too much because it would reveal too much about her. Trying to keep a little mystery about her. Although, at the point the story is now, she is starting to reveal quite a bit, even to Jeff.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, lovesstorms!
The hell kind of...next chapter PLEASE!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Yeah, it's like a domino, one started falling, then another, then another. . .Gonna be a bumpy ride!
DeleteNo silly boy. It's you and everyone who cares about you, and you need to stop pushing them away. If this were right, they would come around to helping you. They're trying to protect you, and it can't hurt to let someone care about you. Sure, demand respect. Sure, demand to make your decisions. But for the love of God you don't always have to have your way without even considering another.
ReplyDeleteTeenagers *harumph* they always think they know everything. lol
Such a great story!!!
Thank you so much!
DeleteYeah, Jeff is a really smart guy but he's not making a very smart decision right now. He's so blinded by his future and what he thinks he should do, he's not listening to anyone. He's really got himself into a pickle.
Thanks so much for commenting and reading!
As I was reading this I couldn't help but think of how everyone was reacting. They reacted like Jeff was supposed to be perfect and never made mistakes. Give the poor boy a break! He made a really stupid mistake and being take advantage of by someone he thinks he can trust. Rosamund is really twisted. Star nailed it when she asked if Jeff had seen the positive test result, she knows Rosamund is working an angel and not to be trusted but she went about it the wrong way. The more people try to push Jeff in one direction the more he's apt to go the opposite way and make things worse.
ReplyDeleteUp until this point, that's what everyone has thought; that Jeff is the perfect child. He's smart, driven, doesn't get angry quickly. . .he's mr. cool. He hardly makes mistakes, especially not anything this huge. So everyone is floored right now that this happened and Jeff is too. He's still in shock that he lacked the good judgement to stop himself with Rosamund before anything like this could happen. Everyone, including Jeff is learning something they already should have known; Jeff isn't perfect. And to set him to such high standard (whether it's the family, friends, or himself) is just setting him up for a huge fall.
DeleteStar may not know why Rosamund does what she does, but Star definitely knows that Rosmaund is up to something and that she can't be trusted at all. Something that she hopes she can convince Jeff of bu he's so blindsided right now, he's just trying to do damage control. He also doesn't like to be pushed around (hilarious considering what Rosamund's doing to him) and you're right, he may end up doing the opposite of what people are advising him since he's stubborn like that.
Thanks again for reading and commenting!