Chapter Three: The Mask You Wear

The next morning I was sitting at the dining table, finishing my breakfast, when I heard Star come through the front door. I wasn’t sure if she was going to show up after our disagreement yesterday. I had tried to call her but she didn’t answer her phone. I walked into the kitchen to clean my plate and she came in after me.

 

 

“Hi.” She said.

“Hi.” So far we were off to a great start.

We stood there quiet for a while before it occurred to me that she wasn’t eating breakfast. “Don’t you want to eat?” I motioned to the french toast Mom had made.

“I ate at home.”

“Oh. . .”

Another long silence followed before Star spoke again. “Jeff, I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. I know who you are and what you’re like, it’s just that sometimes I worry that you don’t see that some people try to take advantage of who you are. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean that I thought you were a bad person.”

 

 

“I know. We’ve known each other forever, Star and it’s going to take something worse than that for me to stay upset.”

 

 

“Yeah, but what I said was way out of line. I don’t even know why I said half of it.”

 

 

“It’s fine. Come on, we’re going to be late if we don’t get going.” I walked past her and towards the front door.

 

 

****

 

I watched him as he walked past me. Even though he had just told me that everything was okay, I knew him well enough to know that he was lying.  He wasn’t mad at me, but it was like he was wearing the mask that he wore with others; the mask that he put on so others wouldn’t see what was really going on, show he was really feeling.

 

 

As I followed him out the front door I thought about how frustrating it was sometimes to get him to talk about things. It could be like pulling teeth to try to get him to tell me how he felt. I was always baffled why he was that way. Neither of his parents were that way and Charlie and Bridge weren’t so conservative with their feelings.  It definitely wasn’t the environment he grew up in that caused him to clam up.

As we drove to school I thought about pushing the issue with Jeff but I knew that he would talk to me when he was ready. So instead I tried to at least get a conversation going.

“So, how was school yesterday?”

 

 

“It was okay. I actually had homework last night; did you?”

“Yeah, I had about an hour of it. Why do they do that to us? I mean, it’s the first day of school! Can’t they be nice on the first day of school?”

“I know. It’s not really fair that they give us homework the first day.”

 

 

We talked the rest of the way to school about our first days. He finally seemed to be himself and not putting up a front. We were talking about a movie we both wanted to see as we walked into the school and saw Rosamond and Peter standing at the lockers. I got a hopeful feeling that maybe she was directing her flirting to Peter now instead of toward Jeff. My hopefulness didn’t last long.

 

 

“There you are Jefferson! Peter and I were just standing here waiting for you.” She said annoyingly loud as she walked over to him.

 

 

“And Star. . .” Peter added.

 

 

“Oh, of course.” Rosamund said with much less enthusiasm.

 

 

“Jefferson, I was just talking to Peter about the new Johnny Depp movie that’s coming out. I was wondering if you’d want to go with me sometime.” I was chuckling on the inside since that was the movie that Jeff and I had just talked about seeing together. I smiled politely as I waited for him to respond.

 

 

“Sure! I’ve been wanting to see that movie. Here’s my phone, put your number in there and I’ll call you about going together.” What did he just say?! What about us going together?

 

 

I watched as she put her phone number into his phone and then handed it back to him. I got a strange feeling as I watched her hand linger a little too long on Jeff’s as he took his phone from her.

“Well, it’s almost time for class to start. Want to walk to class together again, Jefferson?” She asked him.

“Sure. See you guys later!” And just like the day before, I watched them walk to class together and leave Peter and me standing at the lockers.

 

 

“I am really starting to dislike her.” I told Peter.

 

 

“Why?” He asked.

“Are you serious?! Do you not see how she hangs on him and completely acts like I don’t exist?”

 

 

“Careful there, Star; you sound kind of jealous.”

 

 

“What?! I’m not jealous! Jeff and I have always been friends and that’s all.”

 

 

“Whatever, I’m just telling you what it sounds like. I mean what’s the difference between Rosamund and the other girls who have showed an interest in Jeff? Cause there’s been plenty.”

 

 

“I know, but this is different.” I couldn’t explain why but it was like warning bells and alarms were going off whenever Rosamund was around.  Just then a real bell went off. “Crap! There’s the late bell! Come on Peter.” I grabbed Peter by the sleeve and hurried off to class.

 

 

****

 

After school I stood by the car waiting for Star to show up. Something was going on with her again and we needed to talk about it. I had noticed during lunch that something was off with her. I would ask her a question and she would give a short answer; she also wouldn’t look at me while we were eating.

I saw her walking up to the car and I walked up to her. “So. . .what’s up?”

 

 

“What do you mean?” She wouldn’t even look at me when she answered.

 

 

“Come on Star; you’re upset about something and it’s obvious it’s something I did so just tell me.”

She looked right at me and squinted. “Were you planning on me going with you and Rosamund to the movie? Or were you just going to toss me to the side for some girl whose interested in you?”

 

 

Now everything was making sense. “Neither, I figured you and I could go and then I would go at a different time with her. Is that okay?”

 

 

She looked shocked and then sorry. “I hadn’t thought of that. I’m sorry Jeff. I just don’t know what’s going on. She just drives me crazy.”

 

 

“Who? Rosamund?”

“Yes. Do you really like her or are you just being nice?”

“I. . .find her interesting. No one else acts like her and I’m interested in finding out more about her.” That probably wasn’t the answer that Star was looking for but it was the truth.  After Star’s and my conversation about Rosamund yesterday I was interested to see if Rosamund was really interested in me.

 

 

“So the verdict is still out?”

“Yeah. Come on, let’s head home.” She seemed to be satisfied with my answer and acting like her old self. Hopefully everything was back to being normal.